An Exercise Infertility Futility

We're impossible. We are. When you're going through infertility, there's no way to talk to us. The first thing to go may be our ability to conceive easily. But then, three of our senses tailgate very closely behind: 1) Hearing 2) Sight 3) Rational Thinking (aka Common Sense)... Not necessarily in that order.

After months and months of trying to conceive, and tests, and bills, and probings, this is the wreck our friends, family, and coworkers are left to deal with...and most and worst of all... Our spouses. 

Him: "Honey, do you want scrambled eggs for breakfast?"

Us: "Yeah, that's really funny. Thanks a lot!""

"Okay, so, I guess that means breakfast just went down the tubes."

"Oh, that's a nice comment! How unfeeling can one person be?!"

"I can't even talk to you these days. It's impossible to anticipate how you're going to react to anything."

"How can you say such a thing?! Are you deliberately trying to be mean?!"

"What did I say now?"

"You said: 'It's impossible to ovulate how I'm going to react to anything."

"What? Why would I say that?"

"I don't know. To hurt my feelings I guess."

"But it doesn't mean anything."

"That's nice. It's nice to know that my feelings don't mean anything to you."

"No. The sentence. It doesn't mean anything.Who would say: 'It's impossible to ovulate how you're going to react?''"

"YOU did."

"No I didn't. You're always hallucinating that I'm saying things I didn't say. Like when my brother was over and I was humming the song: "I Wanna Be Sedated" and he said he always liked that song but he could never remember who sings it and I said: 'The Ramones sing it' and you kept saying I said  "Your hormones stink."

"Well, that's what you said."

"No I didn't. Didn't you hear the part where he asked me who sings that song?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Then if you heard the question, why would I answer: 'Your hormones stink'? That's not even the name of a band."

"I don't know. You're just screwing with me I guess."

"But I was talking to him not to you. For what possible reason would I be telling my brother that his hormones stink?"

"Then you admit it! You wouldn't be telling him that his hormones stink, but if you had been facing me, you would have meant it!"

"No, but now I remember why I was humming: 'I Wanna Be Sedated.'"

********And if you'd like to be sedated by more of my writing over the weekend (wow, that didn't come out right at all)... please join my subscribers for a weekly email update for all info, offers*******

Also...(Geez I ask a lot don't I?) Join me  for "Infertility Rehab": A glance at how nice it would be if all of us infertiles could be just put away somewhere until the whole ugly infertility business was over. My post this week at Fertility Authority.