I have a friend who truly believes that anger is a great motivator. Okay. I've heard of it motivating people to lose weight or to get out of a bad relationship. I've also heard of anger motivating people to bypass the parking lot and drive their SUV straight into the mall, or bring a machine gun to work in their lunch box instead of a tuna fish sandwich.
This same friend once told me that her anger got her up and out of bed in the morning. Apparently, upon waking, she has several mantras that run spontaneously through her head: "I am so mad at my job, my boss, my sister, the non-smoking law, the republican party, the democratic party, women in general, men in specific, my electric bill, my landlord, the dry skin on my toe... "and before she knows it, the adrenaline comes raging through her veins and she's up and ready for the day.
I'm like, "Couldn't you just open your eyes and say: 'It looks like it's going to be a beautiful day and I'm healthy enough to enjoy it'?
It would probably do the same thing without creating a side of panic attack to go with your shredded mini wheats."
I even suggested that she ease herself into this whole crazy "being positive" notion of mine and put her own negative spin on it:
"Wake up and proclaim: 'Yeah! I didn't die in my sleep! Whoo hoo! So what can I go do now that I made it through the night without having a brain hemorrhage?!'"
She doesn't do it intentionally. She's just po'd all the time. Sounds like a waste of life to me...but... whatever. As long as I'm not the one waking up next to her. In fact, as far as I know, she has nobody waking up next to her...imagine that.
Oh what a restful night's sleep it would be not knowing if you're going to wake up to a pillow over your face or to a hearty "Good morning Jerk!" followed by a love-tap with a swift hard cover book to the back of the head.
So, those going through infertility are not like this friend of mine. We're po'd a lot of the time because of the infertility, but that's not who we really are. It's kind of what we've become. So, what are we so mad about? Let's discuss.
Listen I gotta go. I accidentally threw away my bank card and I hear the garbage truck coming. (You have no idea how much I wish that were a joke.) I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.