Autumn of my fertility. I admit, it's not quite as exciting as autumn itself. Waking up this morning, I didn't even need to experience the 64 degree temperature first-hand. Just seeing it in the lower left corner of my local TV news was good enough to get me pumped up. Then there was the autumn of my fertility: Getting married at 38 1/2+ and, for an entire year trying to get pregnant naturally by myself (well, not totally by myself. I'm not a complete idiot.)
In both cases, the real autumn and the autumn of my fertility, my heart pounded with anticipation but let's face it: The prospect of pumpkins, hayrides, candy apples, and the state fair is always more thrilling than the prospect of emotional, physical, social, and financial devastation. And truth be told, when you're trying to get pregnant the natural, normal way, even if you’re “older” you still block out any thoughts about fertility treatments or what in the world they might entail.
I will admit though, before I ever considered going to a fertility clinic, I definitely saw images of those elevator doors closing on my motherhood opportunities and me squeezing both hands inside trying to pry them open as long as I could. But I never really entertained the thought of a never-ending parade of blood tests or constant probes or sticking this in there, or insurance or what to tell my coworkers about why I was switching my schedule... In fact, I think I was kind of in denial about how difficult it was all going to be. Even though I knew conception got a lot harder as you got older, I still just figured I would cuddle with my husband, get pregnant, watch the news and doze off. I never did ovulation kits, or temperature taking, or special diets. And I never read any of those debilitating statistics about exactly how difficult it could be. "When you're 28, the chance of getting pregnant in the first three months of trying is 1 in 2. At 32, it's 1 in 12. At 38, it's 1 in 1200. At your age, it's 1 in 54 million... Well, that's still better odds than winning Power ball." ****Please do not be either encouraged or discouraged by my numbers. Clearly I pulled them out of a spot six inches to the left of where the Progesterone shots went.
Next week: Infertility Autumn: What a Sucky Season: Part 2- In the meantime, if you’d like more laughs at infertility’s expense, come guffaw at my personal infertilty / IUI / IVF / FET story (blue cover) & my IVF / FET & the “aftermath” story (green cover). http://laughingisconceivable.com
Thanks for stopping by! Hope you feel even just a little bit better than you did when you got here.