So what were we talking about? Oh right. Celebrities and whether they have the right to stay in the infertility closet. And why, oh why, some of you still haven't become blog subscribers...Well, do it if you like...We'd love to have you... Geez, you know, before I started writing this week, I really thought I was going to "out" the rich and famous. Yank them right out of their luxurious little infertility closet, past their 200 pairs of designer shoes, 180 of which they've probably only worn once.
A couple of posts into the week, I developed two bizarre traits called "empathy" and "compassion". Where the hell did they come from? I'm trying to write comedy here for Gd's sake.
I've never been one to feel sorry for celebrities. I always figured:
"Yeah yeah, we're all into your personal business: Your marriage, your separation, your divorce, your new marriage, your new separation, your new divorce...your career, your new nose, your newer nose, your small breasts, your bigger breasts, your biggest breasts, your affairs, your drug problem, your rehab, your jail time, your drug problem, your rehab, your jail time, your drug problem, your rehab, your jail time....
But you have millions of dollars...So suck it up and stop whining!"
I don't know why I always feel like money is the great equalizer. Your whole life can be a shambles, but if you have big bucks, I have zero sympathy. I feel like you can buy some miracle to fix it somehow...I'm not sure how...
And I guess I've always thrown "infertility" onto that huge crap pile.
If you're a celebrity, I always figured, you magically have dozens of people just lining up to get a crack at carrying your baby in their uterus, donating an egg or two or six, swimming some sperm your way or handing over their child to adopt and grow up in the lap of luxury.
I just always assumed there was a celebrity fairy who was able to wave her sparkly razor sharp wand and cut through the yards and yards of red tape that the rest of us poor suckers have to endure.
But in writing this mess this week, I thought about it:
"Hmmm. What could be worse than going through infertiilty? Maybe.... Going through infertility with the whole fking world watching."
Then I thought:
"What's more sickening than a celebrity who seems to have everything?"
Jane and Joe Schmo's who don't know these celebrities from a hole in the wall but write comments online like they're their best buddies.
Story: "Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick have twins via surrogate."
Comment: "Sarah and Matthew are such a wonderful couple. They have always been great parents to James Wilkie. All they needed were those beautiful twin girls to complete the family."
"All anyone has to do is look at them in last month's Good Housekeeping magazine to know how devoted they are to each other and their family."
"I can understand why Sarah left "Sex and the City" to concentrate on her beautiful family!" (signed Moron from nowhere who never met Sarah or Matthew)
Listen, I gotta go. I have a lunch date with my husband and then a dinner date with my husband. We date and eat a lot.
Have a great weekend.