For Those Who Think the Best Part of Mother's Day is Now

Have you heard of "Give Yourself a Cookie" Day? If the best part of Mother's Day to you, right now, at this very juncture in your life, is the moment it ends...

I apologize if you've seen this theme before in my posts but I think it's necessary... especially for people who don't do well on certain holidays. And if you've been trying to get pregnant, Mother's Day is one of those holidays.  So what I do, a few times a year is proclaim it: "Give yourself a Cookie Day".

So how'd your mother's day go? Guess what? No matter how it went, you survived. It's over. And damn am I proud of you.

If you cried. If you hid under the table. If you never got out of bed. If you blew off family festivities because you were too depressed. For you, I hereby proclaim today as: "Give Yourself a Cookie Day!"

For you who sat through your mother-in-law telling you how proud she is of all of her grandchildren (even the imbeciles among them) and wishes she had more... Give yourself a cookie!

For you who spent time at a family gathering watching your nieces and nephews run around as you secretly hoped they would throw up on one of their parents just to bring a little joy into your day... Give yourself a cookie!

For you who bit the bullet while your mother cornered you in the kitchen and reminded you of how much younger you're not getting...

Give yourself a cookie!

For you who endured cousins showing pictures of their kids on their iphone, while the damn kids were right in front of you... Give yourself a cookie!

For you who listened to your siblings complain to each other about how hard it is being a parent and how they never have enough time for themselves... And if you only knew how lucky you were...

Give yourself a cookie!

For you who went out with the extended family to some family-style BS restaurant and had to stand there while everyone counted six times how many high chairs and how many booster seats were needed... Give yourself a cookie!

For you who just couldn't deal with the holiday at all and stayed home and bitched to your spouse... Give yourself a cookie! (Even you who yesterday gave yourself a case of cookies and washed it down with a gallon of ice cream. Give yourself a cookie!)

And for you who got so fed up, you told a relative who gave unsolicited advice, or made a thoughtless remark to "Screw-Off"... Give yourself one of those giant bakery cookies. (Preferably one with a huge smiley face looking up at you.)

And for you who did nothing, avoided everyone, went nowhere, turned off the lights and pulled the blankets over your head...You survived the day...and that's plenty... So..."Give yourself a cookie!"

(Yes, her again!)

I know. There's a rampant obesity epidemic, and we shouldn't reward ourselves with food... So call it: "Give Yourself a Protein Bar" Day or "Give Yourself a Foot Massage" Day. "Give Yourself an Afternoon Off from Work" Day... Whatever you consider a reward for a job well done... That's the day today is!  And if you're not reading this until a week and a half after Mother's Day? So? "Give Yourself a Cookie Day" is what you'd call a floating holiday. It floats into your life anytime after a holiday-- whenever you need it.

If you'd like more laughs at infertility's expense:

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