Donated Eggs: Are they Any Cheaper By The Dozen? (Friday)

So what were we talking about? Oh right. Egg donors vs Sperm Donors. The age old battle of the sex organs.   We were discussing how women receive around $10,000 for their eggs while men get about $50 per sperm donation. I can only conclude that there is such a huge disparity in rates simply because it’s harder to get female donors.

A few women might donate after much trepidation, but many men spend much of their waking lives trying to get some “good donating”.

Of course, a woman is born with all of the eggs she’ll ever have. A guy’s sperm, on the other hand (so to speak), builds up, just waiting for him to give it to someone (so to speak).

Most women are reluctant to have a professional extract their genetic material from their bodies, while several men will happily drive to the seedy side of town on pay day, to have “the oldest” professional coax his from his body.  

I also can’t imagine women publicizing the fact that they’re donors.  I can see male donors, however, creating a whole advertising campaign for the sperm bank industry: “Touch Yourself.  Touch a life.”

Yesterday I mentioned how some egg brokers seek out Ivy leaguers as donors.

The women, having gone through all of the injections and egg retrieval, probably will confide in a few close girlfriends who have helped them make this potentially life-altering decision and whom they’ve taken along on this entire emotional journey.

They might even chat with others who have been through the ordeal, on online support groups.

Ivy league business school men who “gave at the office” (or at least “brought it to the office”) would likely bond with each other in a fraternity of sorts, and use their corporate know-how to promote the sperm donation cause, including sporting T-shirts featuring the catchy group name:                                “The Right Hand Men”.      

There would be telethons, walk-a-thons, and (this is the part where you stop reading my blog and start reading my dirty little mind to arrive at the next “a-thon” on the list) to raise awareness and whatever else is longing to be raised.

Before you know it, old hippy musicians would rewrite songs: “If I could save mine in a bottle… The first think that I’d like to do…” and gather together for one magical concert extravaganza fundraising effort for “The Grope of Hope”……………………….

I came across an egg donor place online called “The Perfect Match”.  I wonder if I’m the only one who ever thought it was a dating service.  I’m dying to know if they do sperm also. Wouldn’t that be nice?

You go in there, search through a catalogue, and tell them you’re interested in Bachelor #38.

Then someone in a lab coat appears, takes a specimen cup out of their pocket and slaps it down on the table.  “Here’s your dreamboat. I hope you two will be very happy.”

Well, at least when you’re sitting around with your girlfriends, you’d definitely have the best “Worst first date I’ve ever been on” story.

Listen, I gotta go. I just remembered that I have relatives coming over for the long weekend, and I’ve got to get out of town. I’ll talk to ya on Tuesday.