The eggs used in my in-vitro fertilization were my own. Good morning. Fine thank you and you? Not too bad. It rained a little here on Sunday. But Saturday was nice. Quite the ice breaker at parties, that first line isn’t it? I particularly like it at corporate functions. There’s nothing like watching a smug white guy trying not to throw up his hors d’oeuvre on his eight hundred dollar suit. But then, that’s not who this blog is for, is it?
Is it just me or are people naturally competitive? Society likes to pretend it’s a “guy thing”, but if that’s part of the Yin and Yang deal, I’m definitely Yang on that.
Women who can get pregnant without thinking, (and some of them do everything without thinking) definitely feel superior to us. They may be losers in every other way: Ugly-in- every-way morons married to uglier-in-every-way morons but they still think “At least I can make babies.”
(I’m thinking, “Well you married a guy whom I would never let deliver my pizza, so I guess we’re kind of even.” ….The conversation behind the triple-locked door while I’ve already dialed ‘9-1’ on my cell phone: “That’s okay, I’ll put the money in the mailbox and you can just leave the pizza on the driveway. No, it’ll be fine. Can you just go now?”)
If I’m honest, I think those of us within the IUI/IVF community still have our own little competitions going on. I definitely believe that nobody hopes that anybody will fail at this… We absolutely want every other woman going through this to succeed…a week after we do.
And if you had an egg retrieval and I had an egg retrieval, I’m going to ask you first, how many eggs they were able to get out of you. Because if they took three out of you, they took four out of me. If they took six out of you, they took seven out of me.
I went to the Vegas school of IVF, and I’m the House.
So if later on I tell you they transplanted twelve embryos back into me and you claim that I said they’d only taken six eggs out of me, I’ll tell you that I only got a 460 on my math SAT’s and leave it at that.
And yes, women who have used their own eggs love to mention that fact in casual conversation. “Yeah, we’re staying at my sister’s while I’m pregnant. The house is hers, the furniture is hers, the car is hers, but the eggs were mine.”
The exorbitant costs and other strange stuff related to egg donations. That’s what this week’s posts are going to be about. I think. You may have noticed I kind of write without a net.
Listen, I gotta go. The French Open tennis just started today and I have to see if there are any Americans still left in the competition.