(Start with "Monday" if you can. You've got a whole lori-free weekend coming up so throw me a bone will ya?...And if you'd like to hear from me once more a week please subscribe.) So, what were we talking about? Oh right. Depression and Infertility. You can't live with 'em. You can't live without 'em. Sure you can. What the hell did I mean?
So, this whole week's topic was sparked by the term "Blue Monday" being thrown around. Yeah, I know. I'd never heard of it before either. Apparently in 2005 a psychologist decided to do some mathematical equations (I knew a psychologist who became a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist because he was too lousy at math to prescribe medication.)
But this one British "psychologist"* came up with a mathematical formula where he added together the number of days since the holidays ended plus the date when the holiday bills started rolling in , divided by the winter solstice, times the number of scoops in hot chocolate minus the year he graduated high school, plus how many gallons of gas he put into his car the week before. Then he put it all in a blender and came up with: "The last Monday of the month of January is the most depressing day of the year.... Let it from this day forward forever be known as Blue Monday."
*(I put psychologist in quotations because some reports suggest he really has no degree in anything)
Of course if you always get paid on the last day of the month, Blue Monday would be followed just a few days later by Happy Friday. Of course then you look over your holiday credit card bills and realize that your Happy Friday income is only half as much as your Blue Monday out-go and there you are back in the depression dumper.
And let's face it, with infertility the day of the week ceases to matter. "Blue Monday", "Lousy Tuesday", "Sucky Wednesday"... They're all interchangeable after a while. Your whole calendar changes. You don't have days of the week anymore. You have: "Day 1 of your cycle", "Day 14 after your cycle when ovulation begins", "Day 5 for embryo transfer". Who the fk knows or cares if it's Thursday anymore?
So I decided to dig deeply (you know I'm a research journalist...is that even what they're called?) to get to the root of this whole Blue Monday theory. If you've read my posts from earlier in the week, you know that only five days ago I thought Blue Monday was an Elvis song.
Guess what I found out? Turns out this whole Blue Monday thing is somewhat of a scam.
Oh sure, depression in the wintertime is very real. Depression over your mounting holiday bills on that great deal you got on the credit card with 37% interest is real. And of course---what Tracy Birkinbine wrote in this week's Health Experts article--- depression during infertility is oh so extremely real. (Give ya the link to her article in a sec.)
But this whole doctor (maybe "doctor??") with the Blue Monday theory......Hm.........It started, shall we say, under somewhat suspicious circumstances...
If you can believe what's available on the Internet... and I always do... Apparently the term "Blue Monday" meaning the most depressing day of the year was first used by a travel company as part of a publicity campaign. You always know there's some serious scientific research behind anyone trying to book you into Disney.
It seems that a PR firm working for the travel company sent around a press release telling other academics that this Dr. Cliff Arnall came up with this Blue Monday theory and offered them money to put their name on it also. (According to Wikipedia anyway)
Cliff Arnall also calculated the happiest day of the year...apparently somewhere in the summer... He may as well... I mean it's something to do on the toilet I guess...For this calculation, by the way, he was commissioned by an ice cream company.
Okay, I'm an opportunist. I'm the first to admit it... But if all this stuff is true...Feel free to say "Cliff Arnall", cough and say "whore" under your breath. I know I will.
Listen I gotta go. First I have to go lie down to recover from the devastating loss of the Jets in their lame attempt to get to the Superbowl. Then I have to eat away the agony of both Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal caving in the Australian Open. I'm telling you...It's great being a sports fan. Just very stressful.
I'll talk with ya again on Monday. Here's the link to Tracy article that I promised you an hour ago. http://laughingisconceivable.com/?page_id=642