"Get Pregnant Quick!" Schemes (Monday)

I'm the first to admit it: I'm sometimes naive. I've worked at jobs where I thought a coworker was "high-spirited" all the time, until someone savvier than I  relieved me from my fog by pointing out that they were just "high" (occasionally on spirits) all the time.      I also get confused a lot:  I still can’t tell the difference between Melanie Griffith and Meg Ryan or, for that matter, Dennis Quaid and Kevin Costner. 

For over a year, I thought the singer, Eve and Serena Williams were the same person. Then, when I finally thought I had it sorted out, they both launched fashion lines and got me all mixed up again.

But for things that really matter to me, I'm aware. And I don't like people who peddle "Get Pregnant Quick" schemes. 

The lowest of low-lifes, as far as I'm concerned, are people who take advantage of others at their most vulnerable moments.

Anyone who salivates at the thought of selling some worthless trash bag full of  false hope to a couple desperately trying to have a baby is despicable.

Welcome to the Internet at its worst: Where infectious bacteria can fester and flourish. Where slime can peddle their crap to a million people in the blink of an eye.  

We saw a lot of these humanless humanitarians during 9-11. For a fee, they would promise to help people find out what happened to their loved ones, or help them get benefits for their tragic loss. A few actually pretended they were in mourning to get compensated for loved ones they never lost because they never existed.

So, every few years these (I'm showing great restraint, I think. I've gone several paragraphs and haven't typed "scum bags" once..and you know I've wanted to) low-lifes crawl back out from under their rocks and have another scheme up their louse-infested sleeves.

So, this week we'll focus on those "Get Pregnant Quick" Schemes. And don't feel ashamed if you've tried or thought about trying one of them. These people are good.

If they weren't, they couldn't make a buck. And making a buck is their number one through eight thousand top priorities.  There's a lot of money to be made in this world and a lot more if you have no morals.   

So, like I said: I get confused a lot.

I only found out a few months ago that Mark Walberg who hosts Antiques Roadshow isn’t the Mark Wahlberg from New Kids On the Block.

I couldn’t picture the Roadshow guy in his underwear on a billboard in Times Square. And I couldn’t picture Marky Mark wearing a suit and tie and talking about pottery, but I still couldn't process that they were two totally different people.

But I'll do my best this week to stay lucid long enough to steer you clear of what I consider to be "Get Pregnant Quick" schemes run by people with B.S. degrees... and I think you know: I don't mean Bachelor of Science.

And if you know of any: Do tell!!

Listen I gotta go. My husband just came home with flowers and I have to find out why. I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.