Get Your Free Fertility Advice: Just $19.99 (Thursday)

So what were we talking about? Oh right. Our friends, family and mere acquaintances who don't let the fact that they know not a blessed thing about infertility and even less about YOUR infertility, stop them from giving you expert advice.  So, how many people have been advised by some yokel that the reason they're infertile is: Drum roll please...

"You just don't have enough sex."? By a show of middle fingers... Anyone?

What these people fail to realize (among thousands of things in their lives that I suspect they fail to realize) is that infertile couples have a lot of sex... (probably two and a half times as much as we really want to.)

They also have never considered, I'm sure, how un-fun sex can be when you have a doctor's prescription to do it.

(You probably could even get a doctor's note for your job:

"Please excuse Lori. She will not be coming in to the office from June 8th thru the 12th due to ovulation. During that time she will be working vigorously from home...or a motel room... but only horizontally.")     

So, line-up if you've ever heard of anyone infertile who then got pregnant just by giving their partner a little extra. Right. Me neither. I mean, anyone ever witness this conversation?:

"Melissa, that was great advice! We used to only do each other four times a week...Adding in Mondays made all the difference. Here I was struggling to get pregnant for eight years and then you shared your vast knowledge with me and the next Tuesday I was pregnant!"  

I wonder if the same people go up to lesbian couples whom they see walking into a fertility clinic...

"Hey, I know why you can't get pregnant... you're both women!"... Dumb Asses.

But who knows? Maybe this "More sex" could work. Why not? It is for a good cause.

I'm thinking we could get a great international support group together for the infertily undersexed. 

We could have an international 48 hour sex-a-thon.  (Of course by the 30th hour something would probably give out, fall off, or chafe beyond recognition. Anyway...) 

Friends and families could sponsor us: $20 an hour or a dollar a boink. In case the sex-a-thon turns out to be a fruitless attempt...there'd be money to throw into fertility treatments (and ointment).

I think my husband and I would have to go with the $20 an hour option... Not to get personal, but, realistically  a dollar a boink, over 48 hours... probably wouldn't cover bus fare to the clinic.  And we don't live that far... 

Listen, I gotta go. It's probably better if my husband hears this blog from me first... 

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I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.