So, what were we talking about? Oh right. Our forever well-meaning friends and relatives peddling their useless infertility advice to us...free of charge...The only catch is: We have to listen to it. Yesterday I told you about this Health Fair that my husband and I went to a few weekends ago. It had everything we ever dreamed of in a Health Fair: Free admission and air conditioning.
My husband went around filling out contest entries and shoving them into every box with such gusto, you'd have thought he was voting in a country that was holding their first-ever elections.
PS. We won two guys who came over to our house and made us a dinner with some pricy cookery that we obviously can't live without. (One skillet...no exaggeration... cost $92 more than my mortgage payment. My husband and I discussed the benefits of selling our house and moving into a frying pan. Needless to say after "Well, it would force us to throw out things we don't REALLY need", the discussion was over.)
And this joyous experience brought back fond memories of our friends and family...While we were embarking on our infertility journey... and all the things they peddled to us that we had less use for than the frying pan house.
"Step right up... to our fancy, one of a kind, no nonsense, once in a lifetime offer to a three day vacation in Boulder Colorado. Guaranteed to get you pregnant in no time!"
"I had a friend whose sister-in-law's cat was put in a kennel in Boulder Colorado and two months later that cat had a litter of kittens! She had that cat for six years, had it spayed and neutered...Are you following me ladies? Tell me if I'm goin' to fast fer ya... But like I said before I interrupted myself...still with me ladies?"
"I know everybody always goes skiiing in Aspen. But I'm telling you, I saw it on Dr. Oz, the Doctors, The View and South Park. Plus Sanjay Gupta wrote a book about the air in Boulder and how women are drinking the water there and getting pregnant.
It was something about natural springs there... A woman on the show was talking about it. Something happened to her in the hotel room there that got her pregnant.
I don't remember right now if it was the natural springs in the bath water ... or the natural springs in the mattress... I can't believe you haven't heard about it."
Listen, I gotta go. Suddenly I'm thirsty...for knowledge...or if the soda machine's out of that...then Cherry Coke.
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I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.