Good News for the Infertile...Unless You're Me

So, here's the latest: According to a study in Australia--get this: If you've been trying for a year to get pregnant and it still hasn't probably will still get pregnant even if you do nothing...well, not nothing..I mean, you still have to do something, I mean with your know what I mean. (Geez, how do I always get myself into these things?)  The study followed around women who had done fertility treatments and those who hadn't done fertility treatments. Surprisingly... 

It turned out that the women who had no treatments eventually got pregnant anyway...

So, maybe a lot of couples who haven't conceived in the first year of trying really aren't infertile, they're sub-fertile or under fertile, or undersexed or something...but not truly infertile.

Okay, so this is good news...unless you already spent a fortune on fertility treatments, like I did. So yeah it's great news...but not to be bitter or ungrateful or a bitch or anything...but where the hell's my $40,000? I mean, the new statistics are great and all, but where the hell's my refund? Or at least a rebate? Where do I send my 1700 receipts to get some cash back?

So, let me see if I have the latest information straight. Unbeknownst to me, I had two choices---two paths to take to getting pregnant... I could have either done what I did: I ran to a cluster of doctors. Got groped and probed, and needled and stuck and scanned and bankrupt--physically, emotionally, and financially...  

Or I could have stayed home on the couch, watched TV and let my husband do his husbandly privilege to me during commercials, reruns, and half-time shows...and the outcome could have been exactly the same? (Although something would feel wrong about being touched while Madonna was up there on the screen. I've just always assumed she would be a million times better on the couch than I would. )

Okay, so truth be told, after the first year of trying, I had no option but to run to a fertility clinic or dial 911 and have an ambulance pick me up. This is what happens when you get married at 62. (Okay, maybe not 62, but it's bad when you read about couples who have been married for 70 years and you're thinking the only way you and your spouse will ever make that milestone is if you both live longer than any couple in the history of planet Earth.)

So, this new report from Australia says that after a year of trying, 44% of women who did nothing to get pregnant (400 words later, I still haven't found a better way to say that...okay, how about...couples who have done nothing non-Biblical to get pregnant)--still eventually got pregnant compared to 53% of women who went to doctors and got post-sex help (okay, that really came out wrong) who also got pregnant.

Some experts have looked at the study and said that it doesn't take some things into account. Like maybe some of the women had switched from an infertile guy to a fertile guy and that's why they ended up pregnant. (They have Maury in Australia don't they?)

I do get some solace in knowing that the study only included women ages 28 to 36. So treatments were definitely the right path for me. When I first attempted to get pregnant... I could barely see 36 in my rear view mirror anymore....28 was like an exit in a different state.

If you like this blog, please do subscribe. You'll receive blog updates, info and offers.  And to read more about this Australian study and it's value to the lazy and poor among us, check out my latest post at Fertility Authority: