I think I was luckier than most. I never tried to explain my infertility to my close friends and never expected them to understand. By the time I had conception issues, I had had a lot of practice in my life banging my head against the wall trying to explain things about me that nobody understood and was over it.
During the week, I'll elaborate (assuming I remember my train of thought. I'd better make some notes somewhere and then hope I remember where.)
One major point of contention within the infertile community always seems to be that there are friends and family who simply just don't get it. Either they don't try to understand or they try to understand and they still say something dumb.
I'm writing about this this week because there was some discussion about it in the Washington Post which led to the inevitable comments online.
One woman with four kids was incensed at the thought that if she had an infertile best friend that her friend would not be able to put aside her own infertility issues to be truly happy for this jerk with the four kids (I didn't just call her a jerk did I? Let me reread a minute... "One woman...uh huh...truly happy...uh huh...oh, yeah apparently I did. Oh well, what can you do?)
So all of these ladies, bless their hearts, who have dealt with infertility, many of whom have had miscarriages, tried mightily to diplomatically explain to this jerk (I did it again didn't I), comment after comment, why it was hard, sometimes nearly impossible, for us to "put aside our infertility" to be happy for each of her, count 'em, four pregnancies. But this lady wouldn't budge.
Maybe it's because I'm a a writer, or maybe because I lived in NYC for most of my life, but I think I could write a much more succinct post to this lady: "You're an idiot. Have a nice day!!!!" (smiley smiley, heart heart, LOL!!).
And maybe she's not an idiot or a jerk. Maybe she's just clueless. We're all clueless about something. And that's what we'll be discussing this week: Things we're clueless about and dumb things the clueless people around us say about our infertility issues.
This week's Health Expert post is from a clinical social worker who has dedicated most of her career to infertility and related fields. Ellen Sarasohn Glazer adds a twist to this particular topic in: "Stress Causes Fertility". Take a look! http://laughingisconceivable.com/?page_id=642
Listen I gotta go. I have an appointment for a root canal and I want to get a good seat.
I'll talk with ya again tomorrow. Hopefully, after the root canal, that won't just be a figure of speech.