(If you have a sec, glance at my ebook over there to the right. It's been downloaded by about a thousand infertile people (& fertility professionals) to put some humor back into their lives during this trying time. Check out reviews to the right & more at www.amazon.com/dp/B007G9X19A)
By now, you've probably heard that Halle Berry's pregnant. And I'll be honest. I'm not in the mood to join the festering mob of angry infertile people who want her newly publicly pregnant self to come out and wear a scarlet "E" down every red carpet marking her as the proud recipient of a younger woman's egg.
I sort of understand how kids might get sucked in by what they see on TV and in movies and magazines. But by the time we're old enough to start worrying if our ovaries still have any worthy occupants shouldn't we have caught on to one very basic fact of TV, movies, and magazines? That there are no facts. Hollywood is one big magic show. It's all illusion. It's all smoke and mirrors. Nothing's real. Not the hair, not the boobs, not the nose, not the skin, not the ass. And often not the sobriety and not the marriage... Shouldn't we accept the one truth in Hollywood?: That all of the above is bullshit.
So, why does everyone always fall for the ol' "I'm 46 and I'm pregnant with my own dusty eggs" story? Maybe because it works for us to believe it. When we're feeling all out of hope, it's another place to find some even if we suspect it's imaginary. And not just infertile women. Every woman over thirty who wants to get pregnant "someday" has a deep-vested personal interest in it turning out to be true as opposed to not really giving a fk if Heidi Montag had a chin reduction or not.
I definitely think that gynecologists everywhere and those of us who have waited too long to try to get pregnant and then sat and watched our fertility crash and burn need to keep getting the word out there that fertility starts to decline as early as 30 and keeps picking up speed as you get older. By the time you're 40 it's like a wheel chasing Fred Flintstone down a hill.
But I don't think it's the celebrity's responsibility to tell us anything. Yeah they're out there in public but they're also just a poor slob trying to get pregnant like us. They're one of "them" but now it's likely they're also one of "us".
For years of writing this blog, I have strongly recommended us regular infertile folk lying and skirting the issue. My position about dealing with everyone from close family and friends who really care about our trying to conceive situation to random coworkers and neighbors who mean nothing to us has always been: Tell them as much or as little as you feel comfortable telling them. But really you owe nothing to any one of them. Screw 'em.
So now I have to say...Screw us. No celebrity or anybody else owes us anything about their trying to conceive situation either. They are we. We are they.
Do I believe that Halle Berry is pregnant with a baby from her own egg? Coulda happened. I don't know. I do know that the chances of having a baby with your own eggs over age 45 are about 1 percent and the stats get uglier from there. Halle Berry will be 47 in August. She probably has a better chance of her Fiancé and her Ex who despise each other getting married in a state that will permit it, adopting and going on Elton John's yacht with Neil Patrick Harris. But that's really not my business.
(Lori Shandle-Fox is the Author of: Laughing IS Conceivable: One Woman's Extremely Funny Peek into the Extremely Unfunny World of Infertility (Click icon to the right or www.amazon.com/dp/B007G9X19A to order or see reviews & chapter previews))