So last Friday, I gave a little preview of this week's theme: If you knew for a fact that today was going to be the last infertile day of your life, what would you do?
I don't mean to be melodramatic. I don't mean today is your last day dealing with infertility because you're about to slit your wrists or rent a room in a nunnery... Or rent a room in a nunnery and then slit your wrists...
No, I simply mean:
Let's just say somehow--by intuition, or a medical breakthrough, or a crystal ball, or a palm reading at a carnival, you just KNEW with 100% certainty that you'd gotten over the infertility bug--- maybe it was just that. Like a 24 hour flu-- the 24 month infertility bug...
Two years of artificial inseminations, egg retrievals and transfers, then voila, your reproductive endocrinologist one day just said:
"You know, I'm thinking now that this is just a virus---I'm willing to bet my medical reputation that all of those tests, procedures and bank loans were unnecessary and you just have that 24 month infertility bug that's been going around .
Drink plenty of fluids, take some vitamin C and you should be up on your feet and pregnant by tomorrow. Just be sure to tell your husband you need extra TLC tonight..the old fashioned kind, not the cable TV kind. Studies have shown that the Duggars have served as birth control for just about everyone but themselves."
(I imagine that show has killed more romance than any other... with the possible exception of "Full House" reruns)
So, that will be the topic of the week:
If you knew for a fact that today was going to be the last infertile day of your life, what would you do?
As I said Friday, it's my take on:
"What would you do if you knew you only had a week to live?" Or, if you'd rather:
"What would you do for a Klondike bar?"
I mean we'd all like to say that we'd be so happy to finally find the light at the end of the black infertility hole that we'd only want to rejoice, spread the good news and celebrate with all those around us.
But maybe...Hmmm... Maybe there are a few more sinister items on our "To Do" list too.
Listen, I gotta go put on something black and wax on my moustache, so I can twist the ends of it to get into my "sinister" mode.
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I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.