For the past two weeks, my goal for this here Laughing IS Conceivable blog has been to get us to help take the sting out of this impending Father's Day thing for the loving husbands/partners/spouses involuntarily turned antiseptic sperm donors in our lives. I'm not implying that they were forced into doing fertility treatments but let's face it: None of us got involved with treatments because we thought it would be a fun adventure. What kind of a lunatic would have IVF on their bucket list between "see the pyramids" and "climb Mount Everest"?
But, to be honest, I sometimes feel men are a little neglected emotionally in this process. Maybe not by us in our own homes... but on blogs and social media. It's nobody's fault. Men, whether they're the support person or the patient, don't blog about it nearly as much as women and they certainly don't go on Facebook or elsewhere to engage in ongoing kvetch and helpfests. And the main reason they don't, is because nobody in their wildest nightmares can picture this ever happening:
Hi I'm Dave. I'm new to the group. Thanks for letting me join. I really appreciate it. So, thanks. I hope it's okay if I post here. Would someone please let me know if it's not okay??? I've been so upset this whole morning. I just had to tell someone. I hope it's okay if I post here. My DW has been great but she really doesn't understand. We've been trying to have a baby for 4 years. I was diagnosed with LSC and PM (low sperm count and poor motility.) This weekend, we're invited to a neighborhood pool party. It's not really a Father's Day party but it is on Father's Day weekend (even though it's the day before) so you know everyone is going to be talking about how they'll be celebrating Father's Day and then you know there are going to be people who look at me and wink and elbow me and smirk and say: "So, what about you?" And to make matters worse, the pool is heated and the doctor said I shouldn't be in hot water. Should I not go to the party and tell my DW to go without me? How will she explain why I'm not there? Should neither of us go? I can't tell them we're going away this weekend. They'll see the car in the driveway. Should we make plans and really go away? Can anyone suggest a place to go where nobody will be celebrating Father's Day? Or should I go to the party and just not swim? Should I tell my DW not to go in the pool either so I won't be sitting out all by myself? I feel like that would be selfish because she loves to swim. And what if the neighbors ask why we're not going in the water? I don't want the neighbors to think we hate their pool. Should I take the husband aside before the party and ask him to lower the water temperature? If I just dive in the water and get right out, will I be okay? Does anyone know if there's anything I can wear inside my bathing trunks to keep the water temperature from affecting my testicles? Should I wear my waterproof watch so I can time exactly how long I'm in the pool? What if I'm in the middle of a conversation with a neighbor when the alarm goes off? What excuse will I make for suddenly jumping out? Has this ever happened to anyone?.... I feel so much better!!! I love you guys!! Thanks!!!
So, let's give the guys a little extra love and support this coming weekend because, well... Can anyone imagine that ever happening on an infertility support forum? Yeah...me neither.
Laughing IS Conceivable: One Woman's Extremely Funny Peek into the Extremely Unfunny World of Infertility. http://amazon.com/dp/B007G9X19A (amazon/kobo/nook)