In 2011: I'll Quit Cursing, Watching Football, & Eating Ice Cream (Tuesday)

Okay, so then I'd be somebody entirely different. You might be surprised, though, to hear that I do indeed believe in New Year's Resolutions. I admit, it doesn't sound like me at all. You may have noticed that anything most of the world believes in, I tend to rebel against on principle alone. (I'm not sure what principle that is exactly.) 

For instance: I cringe when people flock to one particular trend. It could be something small, like running to buy the latest electronic gadget or putting cartoon stick figures of the entire family on the back window of the vehicle. I haven't passed a parked mini-van with those in about two years without rolling my eyes at it.  

It also bothers me, for no apparent reason, when everyone we know jumps on the "let's all use the same phrases" bandwagon. "Deal-breaker" is still high on my "time to stop listening list" as is "Super + anything" as in "Super Smart. Super Happy. Super Cute". 

"Yummy" is moving up fast. So telling me that something is "Super Yummy" would probably throw me into a seizure.  Love Dr. Phil and Oprah. But when people who aren't them start talking like them, I get scared.

So back to the New Year's Resolutions. How unoriginal. Could I be any cornier?

I think the key to making them is to be realistic. I know women who every year put: "Cut out chocolate" on their resolution list. These are the very same women who demand at least a five pound box of chocolate every Valentine's Day from theit husband or boyfriend (sometimes both: b'dum, bum) and then go out the next day when it's all half-price and buy themselves more. 

Okay, so that resolution is unique. There aren't many resolutions we can jot down on the list and include the "Doomed to failure date" right next to it: February 14th--- at the latest.

Then I know people who say: "I'm going to join a gym and run three miles every day." Usually it's the laziest-ass person I know who hasn't run three miles total in their entire thirty years, counting gym class in junior high when they faked cramps every day to get out of it. 

I feel like saying: "Why don't you first make the resolution: "I won't sit in the mall parking lot for twenty minutes waiting for the first parking spot next to the handicapped ones at the food court entrance to become available"?

And I think the same goes for fertility goals. Maybe even more so. I often see women on infertility support forums posting: "Going to our first appointment with the fertility specialist tomorrow so I should be pregnant by Spring!" And out there in cyberspace reading this poor girl's message are dozens of ART (Assisted Reproductive Technolgies) veterans all wondering which one of us is going to take one of our syringes and burst this poor girl's bubble. 

But I think that's part of the reason why this whole infertility thing is such a sucky road to hoe: We always walk this fine line between staying positive and setting ourselves up for unrealistic goals.   

So maybe: "In 2011, I'm going to get pregnant!" isn't the best way to phrase that. But we'll discuss that this week and lots of good, positive resolutions: Infertility-related areas that we actually can control.    

Listen, I gotta go. My Flexible Spending account expires in a few days and I've got to either find someone to write me  a prescription for something or someone to pay a co-pay to. Something feels very wrong about this but I can't put my finger on what it is exactly.

I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.