Infertility Alternatives to Last Week's Infertility Alternatives (Friday)

(Start with "Monday" if you can. It's Friday. Only fanatics do any real work on Friday.) (And don't forget to check out the new "Health Experts" feature at the top if you get a sec.)  So what were we talking about? Oh right. Chiropractics, acupuncture and yoga...  And whether or not any one of them offers a huge amount of  help on our quest to become pregnant...or even a little.

I think all three come from the same basic principle: We're screwed up. If we can only get our bodies back to their natural state:

What they were before we started shlepping six bags of groceries from the car at one time so we don't have to make two trips, carrying a twelve pound pocketbook on our shoulder because it's cute, matches our favorite pants, and holds three pairs of footwear;

Carrying gigantic laundry baskets up the stairs while bending to retrieve stray socks that tried to jump ship, or (as in my case) grew breasts three sizes too big for our bodies.

Not sitting upright at the computer, not doing exercise, (or not doing it correctly), eating the wrong foods, dating the wrong people: I'm sure all of the above have contributed to our demise.

Now we're all just a bunch of slouchy, hunchy, unbalanced, heaps.

If you've read my posts this week, you know that I'm far from objective: I'd be open to acupuncture, I love yoga and I'm fed up with chiropractors. But I like that none of them claim to get you pregnant.

They all claim that, depending on what causes your infertility: 1)They might work well in conjunction with IVF and 2) Regardless of what other treatments you are or aren't getting: They create the opportunity for your body to be repaired and restored to allow it to, in essence, be available to become pregnant.   

What I do like about both yoga and acupuncture is that their proponents always mention creating positive energy in your body and mind. This I completely buy into. When, in our infertililty treatment-filled lives do we ever get a needleful of positive energy?

In the Gonal-F vial? On the examination table with our feet reaching for the skies? When the bills arrive?    

Isn't it interesting, though, that when someone is "in the business', whatever business they happen to be in, all roads lead to them?

"Hi I'm an acupuncturist: Oh, you're infertile? You really need acupuncture. You have headaches? You really need acupuncture? You have jock itch? You really need acupuncture. You can't open the sealed plastic wrap from the turkey breast you just bought at the deli? You really need acupuncture."

"Hi I'm a chiropractor. Oh you're infertile? You really need a chiropractor. You have headaches? You really need a chiropractor. You have pink eye? You really need a chiropractor. You can't break uncooked spaghetti so it's small enough to fit into your pot? You really need a chiropractor."

It makes you wonder:  Is it a passion for what they do or what they charge?

Listen, I gotta go. I've got a bunch of juicy, red, nasty-looking bug bites on my leg. I can't wait to have the whole neighborhood pool to myself this weekend.  

I'll talk with ya again on Monday.