Infertility Nurses: What WERE They Thinking? (Wednesday/Thursday)

So, what were we talking about? Oh right. Why in the world anyone would become an infertility nurse and have to deal with the likes of us. I mentioned the other day that the website, Fertility Authority.com names a "Fertility Nurse of the Month" every month.  That's very nice...

But to me, if you deal with the rigors of taking blood from 700 pissy, nervous, overwhelmed, stressed beyond stressed women on a daily basis, on top of all of your other nursing duties...you should win a trip around the universe.

And if you do your tasks without griping about them: I'd throw in a Purple Heart. Two Purple Hearts: One for dealing with us in person.... and a whole other one just for answering our phone calls.

"Hi is Nurse Nancy there?  No, that's okay. I'd really rather speak to Nurse Nancy. Nothing personal. I just feel more comfortable with her. It's just that I'm not sure I'm doing my injections right. I know you're a nurse also and I'm sure you could help me with that, it's just that I'd really rather wait for Nancy.

I'm just really nervous because I tried to get the Follistim pen to stop at 225, but I can't really tell if it stopped exactly at 225 or like 222. I tried to line the dots up but I'm not sure if I got the right dot. I'm afraid if I take too little, it might hurt my chances of getting pregnant and if I take too much, my husband might come home from work and find me dead on the bathroom floor. 

I totally trust what you say....and I really appreciate your help, but I think I should just wait for Nancy. What do you think? Should I wait for Nancy, or should I just take the shot?

I mean it's getting late and I always take it the same time every night but now it's like three minutes past the time I usually take it...and what time do you think Nancy might return calls?

I understand that Nancy's not on call tonight, but I really don't think she'd mind if I bothered her for this one little thing. It's only 10:30. I don't think she'd be asleep yet. 

You know what, maybe I'll just write on her wall.  That might be quicker. No, I don't mean at her apartment building, I meant on her Facebook page. But now that you mention it...Do you know if she still lives on Oakland Street?

Maybe I can take a quick ride over there and see if her car is in the parking lot. It's about a half hour drive, but it's kind of an emergency. You guys don't happen to reimburse for mileage do you?  

Which reminds me, I've been trying to get in touch with Lisa, the financial assistance person there.  Maybe I don't mean financial assistance maybe I mean the bill collector, I'm not sure. I mean she's never assisted me with finances.  

Somehow we keep missing each other. When I'm there, she's never there. Which is weird because I'm always there.

Do you know if she still has the same Yahoo account? She was part of a sexy latin singles group, maybe I'll post something there."       

Listen, I gotta go. This is the big July 4th weekend coming up and I've got to go buy some illegal fireworks. Oh, I probably shouldn't write that should I? 

I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.