(Infertility-Related) Hours of My Life That I Want Back (Wednesday)

(Start with "Monday" if you can. We're building up to a surprise ending this week, so you'll want to get a running start from the very beginning. No, I'm serious, there is a bit of a surprise at the end of the week. I know I BS  a lot, but this time I'm serious. I know. There's no way you can know that....And remember to subscribe if you'd like. It's free. It's a weekly email jam-packed with Laughing IS Conceivable info and back stories and some great offers soon-- once I get my act together.)  So, what were we talking about? Oh right. This whole weird clock-changing Spring forward, Fall back crappola has gotten me thinking about all of those hours in our infertility lives that we'd probably all like to have back. If I add them all up, I've got about six months..How about you? I seem to recall some instances at the pharmacy in particular.

I don't know if things have changed in the few years since I was in the fertility injectibles game, but I had a hard time finding a place fo fill  my cockamamie prescriptions. I thought I'd just walk into any CVS: "Yeah, I'll take this bottle of Tylenol, a People magazine and a vial of your best gonadotropin please."

I thought it was like asking for condoms. You just kind of lower your voice and they show you which aisle it's in. With no luck there, I asked a nurse who furnished me with the list of specialty pharmacies. I figured, "Great, I'm in NYC. There must be millions of them in this neighborhood alone." The first one was twenty blocks from the doctor's office. The second one was thirty blocks from the doctor's office. The third one was in Pennsylvania.     

One of the two in the general 'hood had the nicest people working there. They didn't know what they were doing but boy were they pleasant. The second one had the most competent nastiest staff you'd never want to meet. "Do you see me doing something? I'll be with you as soon as I'm done!"

So, not knowing they were incompetent just by looking at them, I naturally started with the pleasant ones who proceeded to fill my order minus syringes. So I had a week's worth of injectibles with nothing to inject them with. We searched the house for something to use instead  of a syringe. (What the hell did we think we were going to find? A straw? ...I could see when I "graduated" to Follistim my husband getting frustrated with me running around the kitchen like a nut--"Follistim pen, Bic pen...It's the same thing, it's just a brand name! Could you just do it already?!")

Too late to get back to the pharmacy, I went to a local place: One that's on every corner USA across Main street from the other one that's on every corner USA. I happened to live near one because it's impossible not to live near one.

The pharmacist handed me a pack of syringes and told me to have a nice day. Apparently it was a rule or law that they gave out free syringes to anyone who asked. Something about not wanting IVF drug users to share needles.

So I figured that it was a fluke and anybody could make a mistake so I made one by going to the pleasant pharmacy again. This time one of my drugs was left out. I swear those people working there are magicians. 

After the syringe mess, I watched each item go into my bag. Then presto changeo, I get home and poof! my drug is gone. Now I'm going nuts. I've got to take it in an hour, the pharmacy will be closing soon, so what to do but call and flip out on them. "This is the second time in a row I'm missing something! I saw everything put into the bag but it wasn't in the bag! What am I going to do? I have to take it in an hour?!"               

The girl who worked at the specialty pharmacy, Gd bless her, packed up the medicine and brought it to me.  She probably was afraid if she didn't come to my home, I was going to somehow show up at hers.

So needless to say, after that I went to the extremely nasty/competent pharmacy.

"Mrs. Fox! Don't you hear me calling you? Do you want your order or not? Come on, we've got a lot of people waiting!"

"But I don't think this is..."

"It's what your doctor prescribed. 10 MG's now, 20 in an hour from now and then, 20 more before you go to sleep for the next three days, skip Thursday, and then start again Friday afternoon at 3:15. Take it with food but no orange juice, guava juice, or roast beef. If your eyes start to itch call your doctor. If your feet start to itch, call an ambulance. Have a nice day. Next! Come on, come on. Put down your cell phone, lady! Can't you see we're busy? What do you need?!" 

Running from specialty pharmacy to specialty pharmacy...Those are definitely some hours of my life I'd like back.

Listen, I gotta go. I think I'll take a stroll over to my local pharmacy. I wonder if they give out free Easter chocolate to infertile women because they don't want us to share....Gd I'm really going to say it aren't I?...eggs.

I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.