I've Met ALL SORTS of Mothers in my Life (Friday)

(Start with "Monday" if you can. And I had a little glitch yesterday on this site and had the privilege of waiting on hold for eight minutes to speak to a nasty fool at godaddy.com on top of it, so if you missed yesterday's post, it's actually not half-bad I think, so please take a look. In fact it may even be better than what I'm about to write. Who knows? Surely not I.) So. what were we talking about? Oh right. How proud of ourselves we should all be just for surviving Mother's Day. And it makes absolutely no difference how you did it.

Whether you were sociable, or merely polite, or ignored people, or avoided people, relationships got fractured, people got arrested, charges were filed...doesn't matter.

The only significant factor is that THAT was Sunday...Today is Friday...and, guess what? You made it.

I began this week with the title: I've Met ALL SORTS of Mothers in My Life: Now, in winding up our week long tribute to the wretched holiday, I'd like to spend a moment this last day, saluting some of those types of Mothers.

In fact, I think we'll do a twist on this all next week:

One of the biggest cruelties, of having to deal with infertility is all of the women around us who seem to have babies so easily. And in many cases, I personally take a good hard look at those who are pregnant, and they may not be the nicest most pleasant person and my first question is:

"I don't get it...Who would have sex with this woman?"

So here are some of the mothers we'll look into next week:

Mother Teresas

There's no way this woman wouldn't make any kid neurotic or drive any man crazy...and yet many reproduce with ease.

They give and give and give...Nobody asks them to. They'll tell you they do it because they're "just a good person" or "have a good heart".

No, this is a lie. They do it because they are fueled by a low self-esteem engine.

People who truly give for the right reasons, are satisfied just because they love to do for others. Mother Teresa's (unlike the real Mother Teresa) give and give and give without anybody asking and then are pissed that nobody appreciates it enough.

Mother Superiors

Women who have to top you at all costs. Whenever you chat with them, if takes about thirty seconds to discover that they only know highly educated, well-paid, extremely respected pillars of the community. 

If they've known me since high school, they'll never admit it. I'm just a short, broken-down impoverished writer with too much hair...what an embarrassment.

Mother Two-Faces

Perfect, friendly, happy,easy-going, smiley-smiley 1960's sit-com mom (June Cleever, Donna Reed) to your front, and nasty, bitchy, (possibly hard drinking) Roseanne-mom  to your back.

So please join us here at Laughing IS Conceivable next week when we further explore some of the lovely moms among us and mull over the question: "Who would sleep with this bitch?" 

I'll talk with ya again on Monday