Quick note: Sorry for the delay in posting. I've been putting the final touches on my e-book. It's about my daily infertility adventures, written as I went through treatments: The waiting rooms, what in the world my husband had to do with it all, nosy people who are constantly asking ridiculous and ridiculously personal questions. It will be out soon and is priced at a mere $3.99. More details to come. So who would have thought it possible? An institution giving a loan for fertility treatments? And I admit, my first choice for the title of this post was indeed "IVF- Instant Vagina Funds?" but I thought that was too crass even for me. (Notice it was too crass for the title, but I'm totally at peace with putting it in the first paragraph.)
So I read recently about companies offering loans to couples for fertility treatments. Of course, as with everything with both infertility and life, this is not without controversy.
Doctors apparently don't get a cut from the deal even if they are the ones to tell you about the loans in the first place. Supposedly they can corner you in a cold, dark examination room, force the pen into your hand and hold it while you sign the loan application and they still don't get a cut from it.
Of course some people say doctors could be driving you towards a loan company that they have invested in. Some doctors/decent human beings refuse to offer loans to their patients altogether, and many others probably just do it to legitimately help patients out.
As usual...I'll be honest. Right or wrong, It always skeeves me just a mite when someone who performs a pricy service hands you a brochure entitled: "How You Can Pay Me Faster!"
Case in point: I once had this dentist (this sounds like the start of a nasty limerick: "There once was a dentist from Blunt..." ) And notice the tense..."I once had..." as in no longer, as in: I told him to screw off.
Well this dentist, like a lot of dentists, referred patients to a company where you can pay out your dental payments. Well, that certainly sounds great. Especially for people like most Americans who tend to spend 80 cents a year more than they earn.
(No really, it's a statistic: People who make $20,000 a year spend $20,000.80. People who make 3 million a year spend $3,000,000.80. It's the American way.)
The way the deal worked with the dentist was: You had 6 months to pay the whole amount interest free. If, by chance, however, you didn't get around to paying the whole thing by that date, the cost of a $500 dental treatment would now with accrued interest, end up costing you a ballpark figure of about 27 million dollars.
I won't tell you what my husband suggested we do to the dentist. It's not as cruel as it sounds. I think the dentist was done having kids anyway...and it probably wouldn't be that painful if we'd iced the area first.
So, dumb me, I went for the deal behind curtain number 1. My date to pay off the cumbersome sum was the 14th of the month. Lo and behold, I get paid on the 15th. I mean, I could have told the loan company to try to take the amount out on the 14th, but they would have been sorely disappointed with the outcome.
So I did what any decent law-abiding citizen with sucky teeth would do. I called the loan people and asked if, by chance, could they possibly hold off sending the guys over to break my knee caps just one more day.
The answer was "no". Apparently the company would have gone bankrupt and become a Papa John's if they'd waited twenty-four hours for my lousy $278. I never felt so important in my life. The company's financial well-being, it seems. hinged on my monetary contribution. When does THAT ever happen?
If you'd like to read more about the Infertility Loan Biz, look for my new post coming later this week at Fertility Authority. http://fertilityauthority.com/1013368
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