"Labor" Day? Is that Somebody's Idea of a Joke?

Okay so I'm not saying I'm paranoid, but I take Labor Day as a personal affront to me and my kind. Just another conspiracy to screw with those trying to conceive I think. I mean it's great we all get not only the day off but also a long weekend. (I don't know about you, but those seem to come fewer and farther between each year. Am I hallucinating or didn't I used to have even a smattering of four day weekends throughout the year? Where'd those go?) So I'm glad the employers are throwing us a bone, I just wish they could call it something less offensive to the unfertilized. I admit, "Labor" Day means different things to different people. But let's face it, when you're walking around all day every day like a raw nerve, with your head stuck in a big, puffy gray, looming, storm cloud of hormones and self-pity, everything sounds like an insult to us. I'm willing to bet that to normal people, even though the word "labor" is in the title of the holiday, Labor Day rarely conjures up images of small people being squeezed out of the love channel (You know the love channel. It's channel 36 on Time Warner Cable, right after OWN).

I think to the general fertile public Labor Day probably means:

"Damn-- Why is this the last day the town pool's open when it's still 96 degrees outside?"

"Damn-- Why is this the last day the neighborhood pool's open when I'm paying $1800 a year in homeowner's fees?"

"Where's Jerry Lewis and when did the MDA telethon become only 45 minutes long? It seemed a lot longer when I was a kid. Maybe it was because I was so anxious about school starting."

"Oh no, school's starting. I have that pain in the pit of my stomach. I think I'm going to have to miss the first day."

"Football! Baseball playoffs! U.S. Open Tennis! Nascar!" (whoops..This girl from NY went one too far)

"Sales, sales, sales"

"Last day to wear white" (unless it's November or January and it's the only pair of pants not in a crumpled ball in the laundry basket)

"Barbecue! Yeah, It's my last chance to take the cover off the grill so for the rest of the year I can announce to anyone who will listen: 'We barbecue every summer.' (not to mention justifying buying a $2700 barbecue)"

"Time to curse out my cousin again. Why does she always make every wedding, christening, and bar-mitzvah on a holiday? Doesn't she realize her celebrations have killed every 3 day weekend for the entire family for the past 6 years?"

"Heading to the beach! Last chance to get a tan without going to the salon or hiding the spray can in the back of the linen closet and telling everyone I just got back from a Rihanna concert in Barbados."

And last but not least, for anyone familiar with some of the more outlandish aspects of the extreme lifestyle of that which is my beloved New York City:

"Yeah! A holiday! I don't have to move my car to the other side of the street until Wednesday!"

So I do hope everybody does enjoy Labor Day this year if you celebrate it where you are. You really deserve it. You do. I mean, even if you don't work in a traditional sort of way, you know, like where you have to turn off daytime TV occasionally and somehow generate some income, you deserve this holiday. Because let's face it:

Infertility all by itself is a full-time job.

If you have another moment:

1) Please ponder purchasing my ebook over there to the right. It's free @ the Kindle Library and $3.99 otherwise. If you don't have a Kindle...not so fast! It will download at the blink of an eye onto any phone or ipad etc with a free Kindle app. Click the book cover over there to read some reviews/order. More reviews and previews of each chapter at Amazon.com (just put Laughing IS Conceivable into the search field then click the book cover where it says: "Look Inside")

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