Let the Grilling Begin! (Thursday)

So, what were we talking about? Oh right. The sweet and savory scent of a neighbor sizzling on the barbecue this holiday weekend. (Start with Monday's post if you can. And if you like what you read, please do subscribe to this dandy blog)

Infertile people spend so much time on the hot seat, often set there by our friends and neighbors:

"Hey, isn't it about time you guys had a baby?"

"So are you working on it or what?"

"What's the problem there? We were married only a month when I got pregnant with our first?"

This Memorial Day weekend: Bring on the neighbors! Infertiles: Stand-Up. Get up off that grill...This seat is taken!

"Hi Cindy! Glad you could make it to our barbecue! Come on up!...

Don't get me wrong, Cindy. Not that we think you're cheap and greedy or anything. It's just that everyone was supposed to bring a dish.

Yeah, I know you brought a dish. But for some reason I thought it was obvious that 'dish' meant a plate with food on it to share with all of us, not 'dish' in the 'look what I just grabbed out of the cabinet on my way out the front door that I can pile other people's food on and eat myself into a coma' sense.

Just a a miscommunication I'm sure. 

I mean, you know, not to harp on this 'dish' thing, but besides filling up the plate six or seven times while you're here, where does that lid come from? I mean you come with a plate and then suddenly it's got this lid to it when it's time to go. Like we have a 'To Go' window or something.

I'm thinking you don't run home when the festivities are winding down to grab the lid. The way you shovel it down I doubt if that would be physically possible. I'm always waiting for you to ask someone to turn you onto your side just so you can fa.. before you reach for dessert... anyway... 

You're like ninety-eight pounds. How can you suck down all of that heavy stuff? You might want to re-think those ribs. There's salad right over there. No, I didn't mean the macaroni salad. No not the potato salad either. Geez how much did you pile on there? You must be supporting half of Idaho with that portion.

Well, it's good to see you haven't fallen for the whole "No-carb" thing.

I was talking about that salad...the one with lettuce...You know, the bowl you handed your husband to hold that he's been sitting with on his lap like a schmuck for twenty minutes not knowing what the hell to do with so you could reach the barbecue sauce without getting up.

Believe me, if you really need the food, I'm fine with it...It's just that...  

Every holiday brings back memories. And every Memorial Day weekend, I remember when we all had girls' nights out and a bunch of us went for dinner and drinks a few times and somehow when we all used to pass the check around, it always passed through your hands without any cash being added to it.

So if you don't have money to buy food, I totally understand: Food is a necessity. I just never heard of any soup kitchen serving up margaritas to the hungry.  

Yeah, one evening out in particular, I seem to remember you guzzling down an oceanful of shrimp and fifty dollars in drinks and when the bill got to the last person, all of the money was there minus the price of an oceanful of shrimp and fifty dollars in drinks."

Listen I gotta go. Coincidentally my husband and I are going to a barbecue tonight. I have to prepare my dish to bring: A bag of chips and a bottle of soda.

I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.