So, what were we talking about? Oh right. How we have to be extra good to our loverboys this weekend. Because generally, the man half of the infertile couple doesn't handle Father's Day quite the way the woman half handles Mother's Day: The woman half of the infertile couple might log on to an infertility support group and do this:
"Hi. I'm new to this site. I don't mean to vent, but it's Mother's Day and I'm just so upset, and hurt, and angry, and pissed-off, and frustrated, and hurt, and angry, and upset, and frustrated, and pissed off, and angry, and upset and hurt.
Everybody's getting together for the annual trip to Applebee's and I want to go, but I don't think I want to go because you know how Applebee's is and I'm so hurt and angry and pissed-off and frustrated and nobody understands how I feel and so maybe I'm being selfish if I don't go and my sister should be more supportive, I mean, she IS my sister but all she can say is 'I can't believe you're not going to go to Applebee's. We've been going to Applebee's every Mother's Day for the past twenty years! You now Mom looks forward to us all sharing mozzarella sticks!' I feel so alone. Oh, and my name is Stacy. It's great to meet all of you! Thanks for letting me vent. You guys are awesome! I feel so much better!"
But the man-half of the infertile guy handles Father's Day a bit differently: Instead of going online and venting at 80 M.P.H, he'll just get in the car and drive 80 M.P.H. He vents by flipping off innocent drivers and pedestrians.
Then he might pull into a nice quiet place and drink heavily. (And then, hopefully call you to come get him so that the flipped off pedestrians, don't turn into the mowed down pedestrians.)
There are two categories of men in this infertility thing with us:
1) Those who have some male infertility issues
2) Those who don't have male infertility issues and are just along for our crappy ride
Today, we'll talk about those I'm personally most familiar with: Those just along for the crappy ride.
So, this tribute is for all men who have more sperm than they know what to do with, all of whom have won Olympic gold medals for swimming. We women whom you've emotionally supported through all of our trying times, say to you:
"Thank you. You have been amazing. I know this whole infertility mess is my fault. Well, it's not really my fault. I mean, it's not your fault, but it's not really my fault either.
I mean, I have medical reasons why I haven't gotten pregnant yet! It's not like I can't get pregnant because I'm a drug addict or a hooker! Why are you looking at me like I'm nuts?
I know you've been through a lot. But, you? Really! What about what I've been through?! Nobody takes your blood every two days. Nobody sticks needles into your arm and your stomach and your butt every day for months and months! By the way, my name's Stacy. Thanks for letting me vent! You're awesome! I feel so much better!"
Listen, I gotta go. Mood swings are exhausting.
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I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.