(Start with "Monday" if you can. There's been a lot of venting going around the infertility blogging community this week and I blew out a little of my own hot air yesterday.) So, what were we talking about? Oh right. National Infertility Awareness Week. For those of you who haven't been following Laughing IS Conceivable (that's this blog) from its humble beginnings nearly a year ago, (in case you were curious, we're in the humble middle now) one of the first posts was about National Infertility Awareness Week which will be arriving courtesy of http://Resolve.org at the end of this month.
In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I'm doing an encore presentation of those posts (aka cut and paste with some tweaks) this week. Nobody read them the first time around so one of two things will happen.
1) They will finally get the due they deserve, OR
2) Nobody will read them two years running and I'll try again next year.
National Infertility Awareness week is an annual event exactly like the Rose parade except that the first words that come to mind when you think of “infertility” are “hell”, ”hormones” and “sucks” instead of flowers, sunshine, and football.
I first learned about National Infertility Awareness Week last year, and to be honest, I wasn’t at all sure that I liked the idea.
Resolve.org does some wonderful things for us infertiles. But did one of us actually come up with this tribute of sorts? Can you picture it?
“I’m always emotionally and mentally drained...
...I’ve stuck so many needles into myself, I’m considering renting a corner in a crack house....
...I don’t let my husband touch me without consulting a calendar first, because ‘why waste my time?’...
...Even if I got pregnant today, I’d still be freaking out, because I spent the baby’s four year college tuition plus book money on treatments."
"...Hey, I wish I could share this wonderful time in my life with more people. It’s really not enough that my grandparents, my cousin, his frat brothers, and the sneaky woman at work who maximizes what I minimize so she can read my emails know. How can I make the whole Country aware?”
No, if infertility sufferers could declare a week, it probably wouldn’t be “National Infertility Awareness Week”. It might be, however,:
“National 'Free IVF' Week"
“National 'Give Me Good News For A Change So I Can Finally Go On With My Life' Week"
“National 'Nurses Returning My Phone Calls' Week"
“National 'Speedy Lab Results' Week"
“National 'Mind Your Own Business' Week”
“National 'Please Let Me Crawl Into A Hole And Be Left Alone' Week"
“National 'Ask Me Again Why I Don’t Have Kids And I’ll Kick You In The Neck' Week"
Yes, I feel confident that any one of the above would pass easily through the committee.
As sensitive, caring, and unselfish as most of us are, we might even suggest the spotlight be taken off of us altogether and put on equally challenging afflictions that have been, far too long, taboo in our society:
By a show of hands, how many for “National Jock Itch” month?
I feel that even with an entire month dedicated to this underappreciated condition, sufferers would barely be able to (dare I say it?) scratch the surface.
Listen I gotta go...make a banner or march somewhere...or something.
I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.