You probably know there was a snowstorm the other day. It wasn't here but it may as well have been. My sister, my older sister, called me with that frantic, frenetic tone in her voice that I know oh so well. It's the voice she's used for the last forty years to convey: "I'm really concerned for you whether you want me to be or not." "I heard the weather's really bad there." She said.
"Just a dusting of snow. Maybe a little freezing rain."
She said: "No I'm not kidding. It's all over the news. It's really bad there."
I said: "No I'm not kidding. It may be all over the news but it's not all over my driveway or my car or my lawn or my neighbor's lawn. There's nothing here."
"Will you just look at the news?!"
"Why do I have to look at the news? I'm looking out my window."
"Your governor's just declared a state of emergency."
"I didn't vote for him. The day he took office this place became a State of emergency."
"They showed over-turned tractor trailers and power lines down all over the place. The news guy is thigh deep in a snow drift."
"The cute guy from channel 2? Does he look like he's stuck there? What are the cross streets? I just have to grab my coat and my lipstick!"
"Listen to me!! Have you gone shopping? Are you prepared?"
"Yeah, I went shopping yesterday. I got yogurt, raisins, and coconut water... I'm prepared to lose 8 pounds... even if it kills me."