National Infertility Awareness Week & Earth Day- Practically Identical Twins

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So most people probably think it's a mere coincidence that National Infertility Awareness Week happened to run smack into Earth Day this year. Maybe it is a coincidence, but I don't think so. The similarities between infertility and Earth Day are staggering.

Both are a celebration of all that is natural and beautiful. Well, not infertility. That's more like a celebration of all that's possible in an anticeptic lab.

Both are about rejuvenating and replenishing. Except infertility which is all about your internal shit being broken and useless.

Earth Day teaches us that the most wonderful things in life truly are free.

Infertility teaches us that a fertility clinic works like a reverse brothel. Women get naked and invite strangers to probe them endlessly... and then pay them handsomely for the favor. (Then go home to their husbands and boyfriends.)

Earth Day is to remind us to separate our plastic bottles and newspapers and boxes and aluminum cans and take them to a recycling place so we can save trees and stuff doesn't end up in a landfill.

Infertility reminds us to dig soda cans out of the garbage in a state that will let you cash them in for five cents a pop. Hey, you know the old expression: "Take care of the pennies and the egg retrieval will take care of itself."

Wait, Earth Day and National Infertility Awareness Week really do have something in common: They're both about preserving what we've got before it falls apart any more than it already has.

And..More Important...They're both about planting and hopefully growing something... and sometimes it's about growing the seed in your own garden and sometimes it's about growing it in someone else's garden. And sometimes you plant one seed and get two little blossoms and sometimes you use your own seeds and sometimes you use the neighbor's seeds. But if you use your neighbor's seeds, make sure your husband knows about it or instead of it turning into your own beautiful fragrant blooming garden that you sowed and nutured and raised from a seedling together, it'll be just another sordid Maury episode.

Look for more of my National Infertility Awareness Week Humor this week @Fertility Authority: Post Title: "Infertility IS...The Most Fun You Will Ever Have!!!"

Perhaps, in the meantime, you'd enjoy my current post there: "I Ask You: Where do the Hollywood Elite Get Their Sperm?"