(Start with Monday if you can… Try to keep an intense expression on your face so everyone will think you’re reading something business-related.) So what were we talking about? Oh right. I was enjoying a massive paranoia attack, waxing poetic about how National Infertility Awareness Week was really a plot to publicly unmask all of us with fertility issues.
I mean you probably wouldn’t know just by looking at us that we’re infertile. I know I look normal. Except maybe when I force every hair on my head into a scrunchy. Or when I roll down my car window in December, when it’s ten degrees outside, to wave at every blow-up snowman and yell “Hiya Frosty!” whether or not it’s Frosty.
Years ago, there was a daytime freak show parading as a daytime talk show. I worked at a hotel in NYC where the guests stayed. A colleague of mine and I used to give the guests the once over at check-in and try to figure out what was wrong with them. Usually we saw nothing out of the ordinary. They were just your everyday, run-of-the-mill hairy, burly man dressed like Cher, or a topless housewife wearing a huge bra tattoo.
I don’t think any of us would qualify to be on those shows. At least not based on our infertility situation (maybe based on my “scrunchy” situation. A girlfriend at work actually came up to me once and yanked it out of my hair: “Here, let me fix that for you.” She said. “You look crazy.”)
So, here it was National Infertility Awareness week and I was wondering: Why is every group always trying to raise our awareness? There are millions of things in this world I’d love to remain blissfully unaware of.
Like a few weeks ago, when American Idol did their “Idol Gives Back” show where they raise not only awareness but zillions of dollars for charities. They went to the home of a needy family they were helping. My husband commented: “These people can’t be doing that badly. They have a nice couch. We don’t have a nice couch.” See, that show raised our awareness. We’re now aware that we have crummier furniture than other broke people.
Then I thought, is it possible that maybe, just maybe WE weren’t the people that Resolve.org, the brains behind “National Infertility Awareness Week”, was trying to make aware of infertility? Could there be people out there who are oblivious to the plight of the infertile?
Well, I know people who are oblivious to the fact that they’ve been driving six miles with their turn signal on.
I know a man born and raised in the U.S. who asked his wife what the capital of Chicago was and a woman in Pennsylvania who used to call me in New York and ask “What time is it there?”
I know a guy who once asked me: “Does Christmas come out on December 24th or 25th this year?” (If he’d followed it up with: “What date is the fourth of July?” I would have jumped out a window.)
I know people who have lived their entire life in Brooklyn who don’t know it’s one of the five boroughs and people who live in Los Angeles who have no idea that San Francisco is in the same state.
So, then, I guess we must conclude that there are indeed many people who are unaware of the struggles of the 7.3 million trying to conceive. Certainly all of those people I just mentioned are unaware. Those people don’t know whether they’re coming or going.
Let’s get serious for a moment and no longer… If you haven’t found resolve.org yet, please do. There’s a lot of great support and information on there for everything infertility related.
Listen, I gotta go. All of us women in the neighborhood are getting ready for this huge 48-hour bake-off / bake sale this weekend and I promised to bring the napkins. I’ll talk to ya on Monday.