I have no friends during the holidays. And frankly, that's the way I want it. I think those going through infertility make a big mistake in believing that this is the time you really need your friends the most. You definitely need your infertility-friends the most. The rest of them: They're of no use to me.Most of my friends are too busy shopping, cooking, rushing around, or just plain being overwhelmed. They're all absorbed in their own little lives and their own little rituals and traditions. They're thinking: "Oh no, here comes Lori with her beaten down ovaries again. I just don't have time for this now!" That's fine. Because I'm thinking: "Oh no, here comes Liz with that glazed over: 'Just one more store! Just one more store! I promised myself: Just one more store!'" look in her eyes. She's a wreck. How can I lean on her right now? She looks twenty years older than when I saw her the week before Thanksgiving.
Her hair's a mess. She looks like she hasn't slept in a week. It's 9 AM and she's eating greasy french fries and a candy apple out of a Saks Fifth Avenue bag. Ew let me avoid her until sometime in February. By then she'll have cashed in her annual spa gift certificate from her thoughtful if none too imaginative husband. Then we can continue on merrily with our relationship for the next many months.
Geez look at her. I don't even want to go near her. I hope that spa has someone trained in CPR... or at least licensed to write a prescription for anti-anxiety medication...something...I mean look at the shape of her. I really don't think a facial's going to do it this year.
So, right, my friends don't want to be around me during the holiday season. Well, as luck would have it, I don't want to be around them either.
I have a self-imposed restraining order. I don't come within a hundred yards of any friends. (I'd say fifty yards, but my normal speaking voice tends to carry without me really trying.) I swear if I walk into a store I frequent and the cashier says: "Hey, your friend just came in. ", I turn around and wait in my car.
Stress, exhaustion, frustration, financial strains. Wow. I never realized how much infertility and holiday shopping had in common.
So this week we'll be discussing exactly how useless our friends are to us at this time of year. All the articles this month from Health Experts will be centered around: "Get Through the Holidays... Any Way You Can" The first article just arrived and is by psychologist and social worker Iréné Celcer. Take a look if you can. http://laughingisconceivable.com/?page_id=642
Read about Iréné on her profile: http://laughingisconceivable.com/?page_id=1474
Listen, I gotta go. It's Monday during the holiday season and the only employee who showed up at work today... well, will probably be me if I can coerce myself into getting dressed.
I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.