(Start with "Monday" if you can. What else ya got to do? Oh that work thing...Well maybe you can do that later.) So, what were we talking about? Oh right. The madcap adventures of a gaggle of infertile people on Spring Break. Oh the mischief and mayhem.
So here we are on Spring Break...It's the romantic getaway we've all earned and needed so badly. Just my husband and me...and two hundred infertile strangers... and all of our Reproductive Endocrinologists by our sides. Well, we couldn't very well go away for a week without them.
So, the expenses for this Spring Break trip aren't too bad: The rental house. Well, there are two hundred of us. So our share wasn't too bad: $1.50. Plus meals...well, you know, some of us get pretty depressed during treatments...and we eat... so meals (+snacks) : $2000 + accommodations for the doctor- $1200 in a luxury hotel suite--you don't think they went to school for twenty something years to be imprisoned for a week with two hundred infertile people?... These doctors may not have borders... but they have limits. + airfare + cost of treatment. All totalled, five days in Fort Lauderdale: $70,000... not bad.
I don't know. I feel kind of weird going wild with my doctor here. It's like misbehaving in front of the principal...I feel strange grabbing my husband's butt in front of him (and yet, the doctor has touched me in much worse places... am I creating my own double-standard?)
It's like he's my boss or something. Every time he walks into the house, I automatically minimize my computer screen.
I mean, I don't even know my RE's first name. A couple of them at the clinic I don't even know their last names. One guy I called Dr. Pa for a month before I realized that PA on his name tag meant he was the Physician's Assistant.
But, oh, when the RE's aren't around! Like 3 PM, when they're done for the day... and Tuesday afternoons, and Fridays... Boy do we let loose! Party! Partyyyy!
"Hey everybody let's do drugs! Wanna shoot up? I brought my Follistim pen. We can dial a really high number of IU's and see what happens."
"Let's go cliff-diving. Dare me to do it? What can we bet to make it interesting? How about an all expenses paid round of IVF?... or the last muffin in the fridge?"
"Anybody got connections? Anybody know where we can get some good Progesterone way out here?"
"Hey I just won the wet T-shirt contest. Wow, do my boobs feel sore. I must be ovulating. Hey, get out of my way! I've got to find my husband! No time! Hey you! Lifeguard! Come here and save my life! Trust me, it's fine. What happens on Spring Break stays on Spring Break."
"Oh man. This party is out of control. You know a bunch of guys were just in the living room giving their wives subcutaneous injections..."
"Hey I can beat that. I just peed on a stick."
Listen I gotta go... To find a cliff in Fort Lauderdale. (names and cliffs have been changed in this post to protect the innocent... I suppose, instead of a cliff, I could have said I went jumping off a retiree.)
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I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.