(Start with "Monday" if you can. We're covering a lot of territory here this week. From a new study on AOL Health to the Oscars to Dr. Seuss. Yeah, I'm not too clear on how they all fit together either....But if you'd like to see a wee bit more on the weekends--Do subscribe. It's free, it's fast, and I promise not to give out your email address to disgusting, perverted, websites without your approval.) So, what were we talking about? I just told you! AOL Health, the Oscars and Dr. Seuss. You never listen to me! No you don't. I know because you keep saying "Uh-huh." That's what you say when you're not listening to me to buy yourself time to think up something to say so it will sound like you were listening to me. But you weren't listening to me. Okay, then what did I just say?
So, we've been discussing this new study from researchers in the U.K. that concluded that stress appears to have no impact on whether or not fertility treatments will work. How could you actually test a thing like that? The AOL article wasn't too specific, so I filled in the blanks on my own.
So, how do you test for stress? I mean I know about stress tests where you do something with dye or run on a treadmill. I'm not thinking that's what they did for this study. So, how exactly did they decide who were the most stressed out women?
Maybe they put an ad in the newspaper and then looked over the candidates in the waiting room.
"Okay--so, you---the heap on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably into her purse...you're in."
"You in the corner popping Valium and Paxil like Mentos- you're in."
"You with your eyes closed, rubbing crystals and humming Yanni...You're on the non-stressed side."
Or did they just take any women going through treatments and stress them out (not that we need any help)?
Maybe there were a hundred women and they yelled in the faces of fifty of them.
"So I hear you're doing the two week wait!! How does that make you feel?!!
"Don't you have to get back to work?! What if I told you you have to sit here for another four hours? And you can't eat? Or call anybody? Or drink anything? How would you like that? Huh? Huh?"
"I just got a call from your sister-in-law. She's pregnant again! I'll bet you didn't know that!"...."Okay, Nurse! Get the pressure cuff. I think this one's ready to blow!"
Listen, I gotta go. I need my crystals, and my Yanni... and some valium.
I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.