Dedicated to the men and women who risk their lives every day protecting the countries they serve. **************************************************************
For those of you not in the U.S., our Memorial Day weekend is a time to commemorate all of those who have lost their lives serving our Country.
Then there's the "other" Memorial Day weekend. The lovely 3 day weekend that commemorates the unofficial start of summer with people who start drinking at sun-up so they can be ready to shoot off fireworks and possibly a body part at sundown, people who join the highway traffic line to take a 5 hour ride to a beach 40 minutes away, and people who flock to stores to get 1/2 priced bathing suits if there are any left. And, like virtually every other holiday in every country and culture, food is a focal point. On this particular weekend, it’s customary to eat your body weight in potato salad. But the main event is barbecuing. Grilling. Grilling everything: Shrimp, hamburgers, chicken, steak, hot dogs… and often each other. Infertiles: Don’t let that last one happen to you!
Are You Stuck in Someone’s “Infertility Niche”?
We all have people in our lives who put us into a go-to niche. They focus on one thing about us and that’s the subject of their small talk every single time you see them. When they see you coming down the street, that niche label is on your forehead. You’re “The 2nd Grade Teacher”, “Don’s Wife”, “The Catholic”and every conversation they start with you will revolve around that. “Are you still teaching 2nd grade? “How’s Don? I haven’t seen him in a while” “Did you see the Pope was in Brazil?” (Because apparently if you’re Catholic you keep constant tabs on the Pope.) So if you’re “The Infertile One”… get ready.
"So, are you trying to have a baby?"
"You've been married for a while, don't you want kids?"
"Maybe you just need to go away and relax. My cousin's a travel agent. I can call her and tell her your situation."
"Don't you like kids?"
"You probably shouldn't be waiting this long to have a baby. I mean, you are nearing 35."
"You're not going for those treatments are you? I mean if it's not meant to be..."
So, I thought, when better than Memorial Day weekend to return the favor? Invite a few of your most annoying neighbors, relatives, and friends up to your back deck and sear their asses to the barbecue...then wedge a spatula under them, flip 'em over... and do their other side:
"Hi Martha. So glad you could come. I love your hair. You can barely tell where it leaves off and the weave begins."
"Hi Marcus. Do you still have that girlfriend? I haven't seen her car in the driveway in the afternoon lately.... Whoops. I'm sorry… I just assumed Marilyn knew."
"Hi Denise. Glad you could make it! I wasn't sure what the exact rules of house arrest were.”
"Hi Tracy. Don't worry. I bought lots of water and ginger ale for Mike so you won't have to throw his lifeless body over your shoulder to get him to the car like last year."
"Hey Dana and Ed! Wow. You guys are still in that sham marriage?"
Please remember this weekend: He who grills you in your “infertility” niche is likely stuck in their own sucky one.
Thanks a lot for stopping by! I hope you feel at least a little bit better than you did when you first got here.
If you'd like more laughs at infertility's expense, please sign on to my newsletter and / or check out my books. They’re recommended by renowned OB / GYN & IVF professionals and patients alike. http://laughingisconceivable.com