Robert Edwards

Nobel Prize Winners: Those Rat Bastards (Tuesday)

(Start with "Monday" if you can. After I slaved over a hot computer for hours and hours, the least you can do is read it. Did images of your mother just come crashing into your head? Sorry about that.) So what were talking about? Oh right. How it's impossible to please everyone... so you got to please yourself. (Is it just me or did James Taylor just infiltrate my blog?)

For the past few days every article I've read has congratulated Dr. Robert Edwards, one of two scientists behind IVF, for winning the Nobel Prize. Of course I read a lot of infertility sites.  Some of the general public ones were, shall we say... less complimentary.

So, this one woman Jeanne  Sager writes on her blog:

"Robert Edwards winning the Nobel Prize for  an official stamp of approval on the man who gave us Octomom." 

Okay... Okay...Okay... Nope. I still don't get it. What exactly does this man who came up with a break-through procedure in the 1970's have to do with Nadya Suleman, a possible nutcake who had octuplets in 2009?

Oh wait. It's coming to me now. He developed something that somebody misused thirty years later. And that's his fault.  Obviously.

Damn all of those ingenius people in the world!


It's Thomas Edison's fault that people got the electric chair.

It's also his fault that singers use profanity on their records. 

It's Henry Ford's fault there are drunk drivers.

It's George Washington Carver's fault kids have peanut allergies.

It's Pampers fault that babies pee themselves.

It's Martha Stewart's fault women poison their husbands' dinners.

It's Elmer's fault that people sniff glue.

It's Benjamin Moore's fault that people sniff paint.

It's Benjamin Franklin's fault that golfers playing in a storm get struck by lightning.

It's Jack Daniel's fault that people are alcoholics.

It's my husband's fault that the VCR was set for the wrong show and I missed my football last week.

It's dumb Karen's fault that Frosty the Snowman melted.   

It's my mother's fault that I have such a negative attitude.

It's Lucy's fault that Charlie Brown needs a chiropractor. 

It's William Shatner's fault his new sit-com is tanking. 

It's Wal-Mart's fault we're all wearing square-shaped clothes. 

 Wait, what were we talking about?  

Listen I gotta go. I have to go do some positive mantras. I still haven't forgiven my husband, Karen, my mother, Lucy or Shatner.

I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.

If you can, take a look at this week's article in "The Health Experts": Shari Stewart and Julia Krahm discuss: "Partnering with our Reproductive Endocrinologists: Why don't we? Why should we?"

Nobel Prize Winners: Those Rat Bastards (Monday)

Last week I all but ignored mentioning that the co-pioneer of IVF, Dr. Robert Edwards was awarded the Nobel Prize. I figured I'll just stay mum, and wait it out. I figured everybody else was talking about it and what was funny about it anyway? I didn't see anything much to say about the news itself except: Great job Bob! But I had a feeling eventually somebody would somehow say something extremely idiotic about the whole thing and it would burn me up and get my little fingers and especially my middle ones (there's a reason they're the longest) ratt-a-tat-tatting on the keyboard. It didn't take very long.  

One day last week I wrote about an infertility support room moderator who wrote me a "Hate Lori" letter. I tried to join her group and wrote something inflammatory like:

"My blog, Laughing IS Conceivable is designed to de-stress those going through infertility."

The moderator responded by saying she didn't see anything humorous about infertility and I shouldn't be making fun of those going through it. (Did she ever once cut and paste my link into her browser? I wouldn't think so.) Anyway...

As I mentioned this week to those of you who subscribe to this blog:  When I did stand-up comedy years ago, I was doing a benefit. They got all of the performers into a room a week before the show and passed around a hand-out that said: "Nothing in your performance can offend ANYBODY!"

I turned to my friend and said: "That's impossible. One of us could start talking about mowing the lawn and 2 horticulturists and a landscaper would get up and walk out."

So, of course, I naively thought the entire world was elated to hear that the "Father of IVF" (why does that sound redundant to me?) had won the Nobel Prize for his advances in science. Turns out giving this man that award is very, very, controversial.

So I'm thinking...Okay, what did Bob do?

Did he have a broad on the side during his research?

Maybe he was touching his research assistant inappropriately? Working on creating two babies in the lab at the same time: One on the table and one under it?

Maybe he's a skin-head.

Did he  steal the secret IVF formula from a poor intern and pay him 20 pounds to disappear? 

I know. He was a drug addict alternating sniffing glue and shooting up Gonal-F in the lab.

What is it already! What did he do?!

Apparently the horrible deep dark truth about this man who developed IVF is that: (Drum roll please--I feel like I'm on the Jerry Lewis telethon)  He developed IVF. 

And those who think IVF is anti-American, anti-GD, ante-bellum,anti-freeze, antidisestablishmentarianism, Auntie Mame...and who the hell knows what else...want him to give his Heisman trophy or whatever they gave him, back.   

So this week let's sharpen our can openers and lift the lid off that can of worms shall we?

I think you'll be interested in meeting some of these people who are up in arms about the award and to hear what other things that of course have never personally affected any of them in any way...also outrage them.

Listen, I gotta go. Last week I said I would tell you about some good online infertility info and support groups, but being prematurely senile (premature by a week or two) I forgot.  I'll add them to my blog roll this week....Somebody remind me.......