Labor Day is almost upon us again in the US. Okay, so I'm not saying I'm paranoid, but while I was going through infertility and treatments, I always took the name "Labor" Day as a personal affront to me and my kind. Just another conspiracy to screw with those of us trying to conceive. To all of those who live somewhere where there is a Labor Day, only those trying to conceive could take the name of the holiday personally. Most holidays offend us, or at least hurt our feelings. If it’s not the name of the holiday, it’s the traditions that take place during it. Everything seems to revolve around family… especially kids. Believe me, Labor Day is just the beginning:
Halloween: Grabby, greedy kids looking for candy.
Thanksgiving: Grabby, greedy kids wanting my turkey leg.
Hanukkah: Grabby, greedy kids wanting gifts.
Christmas: The birth of... Oh come on!
Only to hormone-infested raw nerves does Labor Day immediately conjure up thoughts of pushing a person through their love channel. (The Love Channel: Found on Spectrum Cable nestled between Lifetime and OWN.) For everyone else it means:
"Damn-- Why is this the last day the town pool's open when it's still 96 degrees outside?"
"Damn-- Why is this the last day the neighborhood pool's open when I'm paying $1800 a year in HOA dues?"
(If you’re over 45) "RIP Jerry Lewis and the MDA telethon."
"Oh no, school's starting. I have that pain in the pit of my stomach. I think I'm going to have to miss the first day."
"Football! Baseball playoffs! U.S. Open Tennis!"
"Clothing sales! Shoe sales! Tape sales! Ironing Board Cover Sales!"
"Last day to wear white" (unless of course it's January and the last clean crumpled item laying at the bottom of your closet happens to be white.)
"Barbecue!" Yeah, It's my last chance to take the cover off the grill so I can post pictures of us in our aprons with the caption: 'We barbecue every summer!'
"Time to curse out my cousin again." Why oh why must every family have a relative who kills every joyously restful three-day weekend by clogging them up with parties, weddings, christenings, or bar-mitzvahs, conveniently located to nobody?
"Heading to the beach!" Last chance to get a tan or, in my case, a third degree burn.
And last but not least, for those drivers living in my beloved New York City:
"Yeah! A holiday! I don't have to move my car to the other side of the street until Wednesday!"
I hope everybody does enjoy Labor Day this year if you celebrate it where you are. You really deserve it whether you work or not because, let’s face it: Infertility all by itself is a full-time job... maybe two.
Thanks a lot for stopping by. I hope you feel even just a little bit better than you did when you got here. If you'd like more laughs at infertility's expense, please take a gander at my little books below. They’re recommended by infertility patients & survivors, & renowned medical professionals. http://laughingisconceivable.com