This past weekend in the U.S. marks the unofficial end of outdoor barbecues aka “Grilling Season”. Unfortunately, when we’re trying mightily to get pregnant, grilling season goes on all year long. No matter what month it is, our friends, relatives, coworkers & neighbors have no problem stopping us at family functions, houses of worship, Wallgreen’s or our mailbox to grill us:
"So, are you still trying to have a baby?"
"Why are you waiting so long to have kids?"
“Did you take the supplements I recommended? My cousin’s sister’s neighbor couldn’t get pregnant either and they worked great for her.”
“Did you write to Dr. Oz? Or Dr. Phil? Or ‘The Doctors’?”
"I can't believe you still haven't gotten pregnant. I was only married a month before...
Etc, etc..whatever, whatever, blah-blah blah,
Well, a few times a year, I like to post about turning the patio tables as it were. And here we are again: Time to shove a spatula under their collective asses, toss those busybodies onto the barbie and grill them for a change on some things that are totally, unbelievably none of OUR business.
Fire-up the barbecue and let the grilling begin!
"Hi Barbara! I see you came out to get your morning newspaper. Speaking of news...
What's that blue truck doing in your driveway every afternoon about twenty minutes after your husband leaves? At first I thought that Don traded in his precious red Honda for a manly blue pick-up. But then there was that twenty minute thing. I never saw anybody leave to trade in a car and come back twenty minutes later with a truck, have you? So what exactly is going on there?”
"Hi Marietta! You don’t mind if I just come up on your porch to sit with you for a few minutes do you? Something I’ve been meaning to ask you: I noticed the other day that you had your boobs done. I mean, they look nice and everything but they don't really go with your body. I mean your body moves in all directions and your boobs only look forward. Like, look right now. You're sitting down and your boobs are still standing up. And I’m just curious, you didn't have a boob job to keep people from looking at your butt did you?I mean if you're going to have plastic surgery, you probably shouldn't leave your ass behind. I mean, just look... there's like a twenty year age difference between your boobs and your butt.”
“Hey Cindy! Have you ever noticed that every Monday morning when we see each other at the office, the first thing I always ask you is: ‘How was your weekend?’ and the first thing you always ask me is: ‘How are your fertility treatments going?’ I’m happy you’re so interested in that but you know infertile people have weekends too. I mean we go to the mall and the movies and restaurants just like regular people. Oh, while I’ve got you, I’ve been meaning to ask: ‘What exactly do you do at our company?’ Everybody else starts working at 8 but you come in at 8:20 every morning, have breakfast at your desk until 9:20, then you talk on your cell phone about what you did last weekend and what you’re going to do next weekend while you make coffee in the kitchen and then you go back to your desk, watch videos on YouTube, go to lunch and go home. I’m just not sure what position at the company has that job description. What’s your title supposed to be again? Do you know by chance if that department is hiring?”
I really appreciate you stopping by and sincerely hope you all get the wonderful outcome you seek. If you’d like more laughs at infertility’s expense, please check out my books at the link below. The blue one down there is my bout with infertility, IUI, IVF & FET. The green one starts with my IVF & FET and is a sequel of sorts. They are both recommended by top medical professionals & infertility patients / survivors. http://laughingisconceivable.com