Infertility, Vacations, & Other Stressful Events (Friday)

(Start with "Tuesday" if you can. I didn't post on Monday, Presidents' Day. Presidents' Day. What a gyp to Abraham Lincoln and George Washington. Two great men who get lumped together on what typically is neither of their birthdays just because they were both born in February. It's like those poor kids who are born in December. "We won't give you anything now. It's almost Christmas. We'll just give you one big present then.... every year for the rest of your life.") So, what were we talking about? Oh right. The emotional baggage we shouldn't take along with us on our getaways from infertility. But let's face it, a lot of us, no matter how much we promise ourselves we won't... always waaaaay overpack.As we've been discussing all this week, it's extremely hard to keep all of the infertility crappola from haunting you on your vacations away from it.

(Maybe that's an interesting solution of sorts: On your getaway, book a tour of haunted houses. You'll be walking up the creaky steps and hear: "Ooooh. Your best friend is pregnant with her third child already. When will yooooou be neeeeext?" and the medium/tour guide will explain to the tour group:

"Oh, that must be Mrs. Stoddard. She haunts these stairs regularly." And you'll be like:

"No, that's just my infertility talking. It wouldn't stay the fk home.")

And I recommend that you try getting away to some place you've never been before so that you can both focus on the adventure of something new. That will help occupy your mind away from the BS that's all over your life at the moment.

But familiar places, places that have always made you happy and feeling peaceful and where you and your spouse have good memories are good too.

I know for me, going back to those good ol' places sometimes backfired though.  Like on one of my favorite drives when I couldn't knock the financial aspect of the treatments out of my head.

Before I went through treatments I used to drive along the ocean in Palm Beach, gaze (maybe gawk) at the incredible multi-million dollar mansions and fantasize: "Hm...maybe some day."

Once I was up to my ovaries in treatments and their accompanying invoices, I'd drive by and see the guy cutting the hedges in front of the multi-million dollar mansions and fantasize: "Hey, those are some nice clippers. I wonder if they're hiring."

Relaxing--de-stressing  is absolutely a no-lose situation. Some medical professionals say stress has absolutely no impact on whether or not you get pregnant. I don't totally agree. But let's say they're right.  I'd still rather not freak out, cry, and be pissed for the entire time I'm going through treatments. What if it's months or years or decades? Even if it's only for a few weeks...Who needs stomach knots, stress headaches and panic attacks on top of protocols, picking a doctor, switching doctors, starting a treatment, stopping a treatment, starting another treatment?

I hate to stereotype those of us of the female persuasion, but sometimes, like they say, when we need it most, we really don't take good care of ourselves. Not just the infertile part...That we're taking care of... I mean all of our other parts...The "woman" part (this is starting to sound dirty), the "wife" part (that didn't help any did it?), the "artist" part, the "spiritual" part, the "business woman" part and how ever many other parts you got in there.

Listen, I gotta go before this blog gets raided. I'll talk with ya again on Monday.