The Great Thanksgiving Roast (Monday)

Sorry for the late post today. I'm doing a couple of practice turkeys. The first one fell on the floor. The second tumbled into the sink. Now, I assure you, you have my undivided attention, before I go rinse them both off and pass them off as clean.....At first it seemed disgusting to do that, but then I decided to take the one falling into the sink as an omen. So this week, at your Thanksgiving brouhaha, the turkey may be roasted but you won't be. I simply refuse to let it happen.

You won't be roasted (or grilled) by the relatives on whether or not you're finally pregnant, if you're really trying to get pregnant, if you've taken a vacation recently to unwind, or been to a doctor...

Or spoken to cousin Kathy who has six kids because she must be doing something right...

Or if maybe you're husband isn't doing "it" right...

Or do you want me to move over so you can sit next to pregnant cousin Marianna because maybe you'll catch it "stupidity, stupidity, don't know what else to say to you so I'll say some more unimaginative, stupidity, stupidity, and... more stupidity" 

No, you will not be grilled, roasted, or fried by the end of this holiday. I will not permit it.

So this week, in the frantic rush of getting ready for Thanksgiving we're going to take it very slowly- one step at a time.

Each day of this week, yes, including Thanksgiving Day we, who have been down this black hole before, as a group will tackle the holiday and your relatives right here at Laughing IS Conceivable.

(Yes, I feel during Thanksgiving week it is especially appropriate to use "tackle", a football reference... and truthfully, aren't there at least one or two of your relatives whom you'd love to see a group of angry infertile women throw to the ground and hold down on the front lawn until someone blows a whistle?)

From dealing with whether or not we should even attend these heinous holiday shindigs to--if we go:  who to hang out with, which rooms to avoid, who not to sit next to, and how to divert the conversation without blatantly cursing people out (though that would probably do the trick. Let's try it out:)

"Do you guys still want children?" 

"Screw off".

Yeah, that could work.

Listen, I gotta go. I've got to go downstairs and rinse off my birds... and pull down the shades so there will be no witnesses.

I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.