The Wheel of Misfortune

The contestants on game shows always seem so cheery. Like on Wheel of Fortune. Do you mean to tell me that not one contestant in 30 years has ever had fertility issues while they were contestants? I find that hard to believe. Pat Sajak: "Renee Bowman from Atlantic City NJ. Tell us about yourself."

Renee: "I'm married to my wonderful husband although he has slow sperm...Eddie... We have no beautiful children but we are working on it. And I'm a medical assistant for an OB/GYN. I see lots and lots and lots of pregnant women. So I'm pretty depressed most of the time."

Pat Sajak: "Sounds like you live a full life in NJ. Thanks Renee. Debbie Johnson from Colorado Springs. What do you do back there?"

Debbie: "I go for fertility treatements. I'm really from Detroit. We just moved to Colorado Springs for the fertility clinic.

Pat Sajak: "And you're a married lady."

Debbie: "Yes I am. For now anyway. I'm married to my wonderful husband Stewart. He's a sales rep for a major car parts distributor. He commutes from Colorado Springs to Detroit every day... and then comes back at night to give me my Progesterone shot. He's been over it for a few months now.

Pat Sajak: "Well they say 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'. Jessica Madison from San Diego. Tell us about yourself"

Jessica: "Hi Pat! I'm married to my high school sweetheart and best friend Derrick for the past 12 glorious years. We have 6 children, three boys and three girls. Jayden is 10, Jane is 9, Jamie is 8, Joanne is 7, Jacob is 6, and Josephine is 5. I'm the CEO of a major baby food company that makes all-natural sustainable baby food that's good for the environment and not tested on animals and I'm also a stay-at-home soccer mom. And in my spare time I do blogs for NASA and Martha Stewart and enjoy watching Wheel of Fortune."

Pat Sajak: "Jessica, you won the toss. Then we drew straws and did rock, paper, scissors and you won those too. It's a movie title. It's your spin. You landed on the trip to the Paradise Hotel & Spa in Maui for a family of 8."

Jessica: "S!"

Pat: 1 "S".

Jessica: "I'd like to solve, Pat." 'Life IS BEAUTIFUL'!"

Pat: "That's right! That's amazing. No money but you got that prize package to Hawaii worth $72,000. Next puzzle is a toss-up. Everybody get your buzzers ready to ring in. It's 'things'" (Letters start popping up on the board -Ding!)

Pat: "Renee!"

Renee: "Good Injections!"

Pat: "No I'm sorry. Anybody else?"

Jessica: "Good Intentions!"

Pat: "That's correct! $2000 more for you. Renee, those things happen sometimes. Have no fear. You're spinning first in this next round. It's a phrase. Give it a good spin. Oh, you landed on our new wedge: 'Emotionally Bankrupt'. So sorry. Debbie, it's your spin: 'Lose Your Turn Loser!'. You know in all these years, I could swear it only said 'lose a turn' and I never noticed that exclamation point there.... Oh, that sound means we're running out of time. I'll give the wheel a final spin. Jessica, it's your turn"

Jessica: "S!" Pat: "There are 2 'S's" (Beep) Renee: "L! Low Sperm Count?"

Pat: "Definitely Not. Debbie"

Debbie: "Low Self-Esteem!"

Pat: "No. Jessica?"

Jessica: "Low Sodium Snacks!" "That's it! We'll be back to spin the little wheel with our big winner Jessica, after this message and then Vanna and I will probably be looking for other work. 30 years was a good run. Nothing lasts forever."

Commercial Break: "Have trouble finding the humor in anything nowadays?: Click the Book Cover icon to the right to read reviews of my ebook: Laughing IS Conceivable: One Woman's Extremely Funny Peek into the Extremely Unfunny World of Infertility. $2.99 or Free at Kindle Library Now back to our show"