(If you'd like to continue your humor break from infertility after visiting, please consider my ebook to the right. Fast, fun reading (so they tell me, anyway) I love whenever Judge Judy has a case where a woman is suing an ex and the woman goes on and on about how irresponsible and useless he is. Judge Judy's response is always:
"What do you want from me? You picked him!"
The vast majority of fertility blog readers are women. I'm sure that comes as a huge surprise to nobody. Maybe that's because the vast majority of fertility blog writers are women. All infertile women want to do is help other infertile women...and kvetch. Kvetch and help...Sometimes we kvetch and hope it helps others. Other times, we kvetch knowing that it helps nobody, including ourselves.
So this time each year, I like to pay a little more attention to the men in our lives. We all know that Mother's Day when you're trying to conceive is no picnic. I imagine Father's Day is the same for them. Of course, they'll never tell you that.
The last time I wrote about how men feel during the madcap infertility adventure, I tried to grill my husband so I could get the deepest insight into the innermost thoughts and feelings of the male half of the couple. I put on my Barbara Walters face and asked him probing questions:
"How do you feel about Father's Day?" "How does all this make you feel as a man?" "How do you feel as a husband watching me, your loving wife and invaluable life partner go through treatments month after month?" "How do you feel at family functions when there are kids running around everywhere?" "How do you feel when people ask you why we don't have kids yet?"
I taped the whole session, took copious notes, stacked them all up in one big pile, got my calculator, and then entered the data I had amassed which really wasn't that massive and actually was a complete waste of time considering that his answer to every single question was:
"I've never really thought about it."
So I'm sure this whole infertility thing weighs heavily on men...Even more so, I'm certain, if modern medical science declares that they're the culprit. But most of them, from my experience anyway, won't actually tell you they're sad or depressed or frustrated about the whole damn thing. They're usually not part of the "kvetch and help others" set like we are. So this week leading up to Father's Day, I think every woman should ditch the notion of getting into his head to find out what he's really feeling about all this infertility crappola...and just try to remember why "You Picked Him".
Problem number 578 with infertility is that in the blink of an eye, you went from being life partners to being business partners.
See we have this project. This baby-making project. It's a perfect business arrangement. "I have what you need to complete this project as part of my inventory: Eggs and a uterus. You have what I need to complete the project in your inventory: Sperm. Great...It's a deal. Let's shake on it. Let's get this project underway ASAP. Who has a calendar?"
So this week leading up to Father's Day, the suits come off. Think back...Think way, way, way back... when he was not your business partner but a cute guy at the party, a first date, a serious boyfriend...or, if you'd prefer, think back to just a week before you went to your first fertility appointment when he was an unshaven, gas-filled, B.O.'d beer gut taking up 2/3 of the couch. Either way, he's yours and you picked him. So this week even as the infertility battle rages on, remember why you picked him. And if your answer is: "I've never really thought about it." Please...we're women...Of course you have.
(Laughing IS Conceivable: One Woman's Extremely Funny Peek into the Extremely Unfunny World of Infertility-ebook available on all Kindles & all devices, SmartPhones, iPads etc with Free Kindle app. Free@ Kindle Library or $2.99@ http://licthebook.com)