Those Who Assist Us With Our Assisted Reproductive Technologies (Friday)

(Start with "Monday" if you can. You've survived another work week. You deserve to yuk it up.) So, what were we talking about? Oh right.

According to this week's Health Experts' article "Quality Assurance in the IVF Lab", it is extremely important that all of the medical staff members work in some sort of harmony together. If there's no comunication the whole thing, in essence, our treatment, can suffer. 

So I read that bit of the article. And then I went to the dentist...and saw what she the flesh.

So, let me throw a little disclaimer here by stating that I've only been going to my dentist for a short time but I really like him. I say this because I firmly believe that there are two people in your life you should never offend:

Your dentist and your mechanic. If you've found good ones--- slight your mother-in-law, forget your husband's birthday, curse out your sister... Just make sure you hug your dentist and your mechanic whenever you're in the neighborhood. Give 'em a hicky if you feel up to it.

Well, two weeks ago I went to my dentist because of a slight molar ache and to give my whole palate a once over.

So that tooth in question was likely going to be a major problem "down the line" but for now I was just going to go home and Listerine, fluoride, and floss the heck out of it.  

As for it becoming a major problem,  "down the line" came about five days later. Apparently all of the chicken mcnuggets, cookies, and potato chips I Listerined, fluorided, and flossed out of that tooth were all that was holding that tooth together.

As directed by someone (not sure who) who returned my frantic call ("Help! Help! Please call me back at your earliest convenience. Have a great day") , I went to the dentist the next day: 

1) An assistant said she didn't know whyI had an appointment and I shouldn't stay for the appointment because I need a root canal and they don't do root canals.

2) Another assistant told me to stay: They would try to relieve the pressure.   

3) Somebody else sat me in the chair and did the bib and chain thing.

4) Somebody else (not sure if she worked there or was just passing by) told me somebody would be along in a minute to drug me up.

5) The dentist came in and apologized: He said they wouldn't be able to do anything because the day before I was supposed to start taking antibiotics but nobody told me or called in a prescription. 

So, let's pretend this was a fertility clinic:

Okay, so you go in in the morning to give blood. And nobody talks to anybody else at the clinic. So the nurse doesn't call you that evening to tell you what dose you should take.

So you happen to be watching TV while you're waiting for her call. And they do the daily lottery numbers: 2-2-5. Okay, that sounds like a good dosage. It must be meant to be. The nurse is contacting you via the state Lotto.

Then you go into the clinic for your egg retrieval but, lo and behold, in the middle of it all, the crew realizes nobody ever told the anesthesiologist that you were scheduled so they just improvise and give you a rubber glove to chew on.  

Then when you go back to have the embryos transferred back into you, there's a battle between an RE and a couple of nurses. You can't make out exactly what they're saying. Somebody either stole someone's husband or lunch.

Well, either way, they kind of lost count of how many embryos they put in you so they stick in a few more for good measure. Quadruplets? Sextuplets? It's only a difference of two. It's the same as if you just ate 2 Oreos or 4 Oreos: No big deal.

Listen I gotta go.   Tonight is the beginning of a fast for me. I have to run home and eat everything in the refrigerator:  Gotta. By the time the fast is over tomorrow night, it might all be spoiled. And I just won't take that chance.

I'll talk with ya again on Monday. Check out that article I was talking about: "Quality Assurance in the IVF Lab."