Which Will Come First: Their Breakthrough or Our Breakdown? (Thursday)

(Start with "Monday" if you can.  This week we're discussing Breakthroughs vs Breakdowns. Read how infertility scientists are having the former while I'm having the latter.  And if you can deal with an extra dose of me on the weekend, please beome a subscriber. I'll send you a weekly update of what's going on here at Laughing IS Conceivable along with some backstory about what possessed me me to write each week's blogs.)    

So, what were we talking about? Oh right. Yesterday I began with a new approach doctors discovered to help obese women conceive easier with fertility treatments. I then went off on a Haagen Dazs tangent. I'm sort of like a dentist with one minor difference. With me, all roads lead to ice cream. With them, all roads lead to a crown.

I'm happy, I want ice cream. I'm anxious, I want ice cream. I'm celebrating, I want ice cream. I'm lamenting, I want ice cream.... Like a dentist. You go for a check-up, you need a crown. You go for a cleaning, you need a crown. You run in just to use their throne, you need a crown.  

So, this week we've been discussing infertility breakthroughs on the horizon. This next one... get the Tylenol ready... It's hard to explain... but I promise it's extremely important and definitely worth knowing about.  

So if I didn't have an ego and wasn't hung up on hearing the sound of my own fingernails tapping on the keyboard, I would just give you the link to the article and say: "I'll talk with ya again tomorrow!". Instead, I'll make a half-ass, lay person's convoluted attempt to explain this incredible IVF breakthrough. That's where your Tylenol is going to come in handy. Okay, here goes. Get those arrows matched up.

It's called EmbryoGen. It's a growth molecule that is found naturally in women's tissues which helps protect embryos from stress. (No time to get the tweezers. Just pull the damn cotton out of the Tylenol with your fingers.)

Okay, so what this means,-- I'll try to see if I can somehow get this out without using any words that have been dormant in my brain since I took the SAT's ninety years ago--is higher pregnancy rates with IVF because of fewer miscarriages.

So women who received  this new growth molecule had a twenty percent higher pregnancy rate at twelve weeks. The embryos essentially were stronger so they implanted in the uterus and stayed put. For women who had had previous miscarriages, their success rates increased by forty percent.        

For women who never did so well with IVF, this may make a world of difference. It would be great to know, wouldn't it, that there could be another element thrown into the mix of your treatments that could be working in your favor?

 Anything, to me, that could even slightly tip the odds our way is amazing.  Besides, of course, all of the emotional investment, I can't help thinking how this new breakthrough could potentially help our financial investment. I'll admit, I can't get past the money spent on treatments sometimes. There's nothing else to compare it to.

"Oh, I feel so bad. I just spent $15,000 on a lawn mower. It lights up and has HBO but it won't cut the grass. Oh well. I'll just have to spend another $15,000 on a new one and try again."

(Message: Jerk, get your money back.)

"I just paid $15,000 to the college and they decided that this semester all the classes are going to be taught in Swahili. I don't know any Swahili. I don't even know where Swahili is. Oh well. I'll just have to take out another $15,000 in student loans and go somewhere else."

(Message: Jerk, get your money back.) 

"I just gave my brother-in-law $15,000 to invest in this new entrepreneurial idea he has and he spent it last weekend on tequila and identical twin strippers." 

Feels a little like the infertility treatment route to me.     

(Message: You made the best decision possible based on the information you had at the time. Forget it and move on..........okay, maybe consider suing your brother-in-law or at least let your sister and kids slip into your house for Thanksgiving dinner then slam the door and lock it before he can stick a foot in.) 

At least with infertility---Maybe scientific breakthroughs such as EmbryoGen, will give everyone more bang for their buck... or well, more babies for their bucks.

Listen, I gotta go. Heavy lies the head that needs yet another root canal and crown and has insurance that refers to it as a "non-essential" procedure.

I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.