You know how everything has it's own day now? There's "National Peanut Butter Day" in January, not to be confused with "National Peanut Butter Lovers Day" in March. I wonder if there are thousands of angry allergic protesters marching each year. I suppose they'd have to shake their signs and wave their fists a mile away from the event so nobody passes out.
I don't know what's happened to us. We're all so frail nowadays. Only a few years ago I'd throw a bologna sandwich and an apple in a paper bag in my sweaty hall locker at school, mid-June, let them sit there next to my sneakers which were just slightly riper than my apple, for five hours and then eat them for lunch... without washing the apple or de-botchulising the bologna.
Now we talk to someone over the phone, across the Atlantic Ocean who ate some gluten-filled pasta and washed it down with a Reese's Peanut Butter cup an hour ago and our throats close up and we fall on the floor.
Getting back: So everything has a day of its own nowadays. And September 26th every year is World Contraception Day. (It's also my cousin's birthday. I'm wondering how she feels about that. It kind of leaves you conflicted about how to celebrate your birthday and also makes me realize for the first time in my life how close the words "celebrate" and "celibate" really are.)
The ASRM (American Society for Reproductive Medicine) is having their own "Contraception Day" on October 18th at their national conference.
I'm all for as many contraception days as we can muster.
I'm just thinking that I'm enthusiastic about it for far different reasons than they are.
Those who have created these days seem to be interested in informing young people about their contraception options and to make sure all babies are wanted and everyone stays in good health and passes nothing between the sheets but happy, healthy stuff. (Was "stuff" a poor choice of words perhaps?)
I, on the other hand, am thinking that while many of us have been working hard to get pregnant, there are those out there who need to zip it, clip it, or dip it in cement.
And maybe I'm more critical or pettier than most, but I'm not even talking about people who abuse, neglect or abandon their kids...I think there should be mandatory contraception for those who just give their kids stupid names.
Join me again on Monday for "World Contraception Day-Part 2- Zip It, Clip It, or Snip It" as I give my basic rules on how to avoid "Idiotic Baby Naming"-- a primer course for those working so hard toward that day when there will be a baby to name, and a warning to those who should be severely punished for the monstrous names they've stuck their kids with.
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I'll talk with ya again on Monday.