So, what were we talking about? Oh right. How I prepared for Memorial Day Weekend via this blog. Last week I bawled out my neighbors (I once wrote that phrase with an extremely unfortunate misspelling, implying that I did something completely different to my neighbors...all of them... even the females.)
So anyway...Now I have this dilemma. Okay sure, I grilled all of those nosy neighbors who have always grilled me about my fertility issues.
Half of them I don't know well enough to do more than wave as I drive by but then there they are, every time I run into them in the Walgreen's or wherever...there they are...all in my ovaries.
"So are you pregnant yet?"
"Are you still trying?"
"I saw some ovulation kits over there in aisle 5. Do they help you ovulate?"
So like I said, I have a dilemma. All of my neighbors read my blog last week...(Play along will ya?) and some of them felt hurt.
Not Marietta who only hangs out with anyone so she can bum free drinks and meals and who somehow didn't make the connection that the "Marietta" in my blog who only hangs out with people so she can bum free drinks and meals was her...
Or BJ who still hasn't explained sufficiently why her first name is "Marion" and everyone calls her BJ (Could it be because "whore" would be impolite?) .
No, my dilemma is those neighbors who were at my Memorial Day barbecue (GrillFest 2011) who were not mentioned. Now they feel slighted.
So all this week, I'm giving each and every one of them a shout out. For all the years I've lived in the 'hood and for all their "interest" in my very personal fertility issues, it's the least I can do.
To Annette, whose secret to living well beyond her means is that she doesn't believe in paying taxes. Holla!
To Jean and Dave who take the ritual walk down to the house being built every weekend and come back with a lumber souvenir. Shout out!
To Mark and Minnette who sent the anonymous threatening letter to the new neighbor who had the nerve to paint his mailbox blue. Hey!
To Denise whose arm I happened to see, (for no reason I can think of), elbow-deep in the new neighbor's blue mailbox. Yo!
To Bill who gets up early every morning so he can steal Ron and Stacy's newspaper under the cloak of darkness. Back at ya!
To Tiffany who bears or should I say "bares" a striking resemblance to an "actress" on a video on the shelves in the back room, behind the curtain, in the dark recess of the video store. (Someone told me... and it wasn't my husband...it was his brother...okay, he doesn't have a brother...I meant to say brother-in-law...right, that's what I meant to say) Hey sista!
Listen, I gotta go. For some reason, I'm in the mood to house hunt.
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I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.