There are spaces of time while I was undergoing infertility treatments that are just blanks in my memory. I'm willing to bet that it's not that unusual. I think that my lapses in memory can be attributed to a few things: 1) Some time has gone by since I've gone through the treatments myself
2) My mind was so overwhelmed and overloaded by it all that some of the details got squashed under the pressure on my brain.
3) I was temporarilty insane. I'd gone nuts... drifted off into la la land during my treatments.
Number 3 is undoubtedly a result of number 2. I had so much information and stress, and advice and stress, and questions and stress, and decisions to make and stress, crammed into my head.
There was no room left in my head for my mind...so it drifted off into a nice pleasant place where my mind played hopscotch and gin rummy for several months.
When you begin infertility treatments, nothing is gradual. You don't get eased into anything.
You're never walked onto the infertility bunny hill or guided into the infertility kiddie pool. You're thrown off an alp and tossed into an ocean.
And what I needed was infertility treatments with training wheels or maybe the trial size fertility treatments or the free sample.
Could I do an IVF test drive for a few weeks and bring it back if I wasn't completely satisfied?
No such animal. I walked into the door of the clinic. I gave my name at the desk. I shook somebody's hand.
They gave me some paperwork to fill out. And I signed at the bottom. Never once realizing that the small print said: "Sanity will be returned upon completion of treatments."
And, without realizing the gravity of what I had done, I very innocentlly entered the bowels of "The Inferility Zone"....doo doo doo doo; doo doo doo doo.
Listen I gotta go. Wimbledon tennis is on. I know that's not amusing. I'm serious. It's on...now... I'll talk with ya again tomorrow.
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